Creepy Tent Partner

[dr_wu002]

I realize that when we go backpacking with people there are sometimes awkward sleeping arrangements. You have to share a tent with someone that you might not have ever slept in an enclosed area with ever before. Sometimes you don't even know the person.

I think Giggy found out this weekend that he had to tent with a creep. I behaved like a cretin for almost the entire weekend. Giggy probably felt like he was tenting with someone that had a festering case of anti-social personality disorder or something, and forget about the nasty blanket that I had.

Does anyone have any stories that they'd like to share about having a creepy tenting partner? I'm always a little weirded out about having to share a tent with someone. What if I have an accident during the night and embarrass myself. Or what if I act like Tommy Boy. Or what if I tent with a dude and he tries to kiss me or if my breath smells bad or if the person snores. But I'm sure people have a good story or two to tell if they've done enough backpacking. Surely the people from the recent Denali trip have a tale or two to tell. Maybe Giggy can describe this weekend from his own perspective.

Let's try to keep the stories true and somewhat grounded in reality. I don't want to piss the mods off but I bet we have some good stories to share.

-Dr. Wu

 

[1ADAM12]

Don't sleep with Prino! I hear he snores like a bear

 

[Little Rickie]

If the creepy person can put up with my farting I'd call that even. If not I think I have 4 aces and the creep would move out.

 

[prino]

Don't sleep with Prino! I hear he snores like a bear

It's not True!! I never heard a thing!
I always carry spare earplugs for anyone who doesn't believe me though!

 

[onestep]

At a lean-to along the AT in Virginia I almost slept with a naked guy... almost, kinda, sorta, not really.

It was one of those shelters not far off the Blue Ridge parkway and I was settled in with a bunch of other northbound hiker trash. It was shortly after dark and things had settled down when this guy came strolling into the shelter not wearing a stitch of clothing. He asked if there where room for 'one more', to which no one replied or moved to make room. He went about his noisy business of cooking supper on the front bench of the shelter in all his nakedness. I was wishing I was back in Maine during bug season. After eating his supper he disappeared into the night never to be seen again...

 

[Kevin Judy and Emma]

Not a creepy partner per se...

but when we backpack the dog usually has to get out of the tent at least once in the night. Well, on this particular night she demanded to get out to pee, look at the moon, whatever. After a few minutes I heard my wife zip the tent back up and roll over. I heard, "Good dog!" I went back to sleep. An hour or so later I hear, "Kevin... Kevin! There's something out there!" Half asleep I'm thinking, "There's nothing out there, I don't hear anything." "No, there's something out there!" she insists. I'm groping around in the dark looking for the lamp. Finally I find it, roll over and try to shine it outside, but can't see a thing. The light is just reflecting off the no-see-um mesh. Meanwhile the wife is like "Oh God!" and I can feel the fear in her voice. Now I'm gettin' a little nervous, too. Finally, I put the light right up to the mesh and try to look out and there is something there, looking right back in the tent. "What the..." I'm thinking, trying not to panic. "Is it a raccoon, way the hell up here?" "A fisher?" Finally, through my sleep filled eyes and the no-see-um mesh I realize, it's the freakin' dog! My wife had zipped up thinking the dog had come back in when she hadn't.

KDT

 

[Tom Rankin]

At a lean-to along the AT in Virginia I almost slept with a naked guy... almost, kinda, sorta, not really.

Was it the summer Solstice?

 

[onestep]

Was it the summer Solstice?

No, this was back in 1976. Long before the naked hiking day thing began...

 

[moonrock]

Snoring and digestive "issues" are the worst, with the Funk factor a close third (but easier to fix, with proper personal supplies).

I will no longer share my tent with - or pitch anywhere near a tent or lean-to containing - strangers or anybody I know who snores. Instead I bring my solo tent and camp 100 yds down (& off) the trail. And bring earplugs just in case.

I also badly suffered a friend's "issue" (Textured Veggie Protein was something Saddam Hussein was allegedly stockpiling) while sharing my tent. Shoulda given up, left him to his contented cogeneration, and slept in my car. But you know how it is when you're miserable but also half asleep. Since then my policy is: half asleep = no sleep.

Then there's the fact that most 2-person tents are really 1.5-1.75 person tents. When you look at the "floorplan" under the tent specs, and the two mummy bag symbols are overlapping ? That means the tent is really designed to hold you and your imagination (or a dog, but my imagination is MY best friend). For 2 people, I.M.E., coffin-shaped tents are worst, square or hexagonal domes are best.

Etiquette fine point:
On those rare occasions where I do share another person's tent, I try to prepare for sleep position well before lights-out, so as not to torment the host with 20-30 minutes of inane fumbling, rummaging, zipper and velcro.

MR

 

[torn&frayed]

This may not qualify as a tent partner. Last weekend, I was sleeping out with no tent. Just a pad and sleeping bag. I woke up when I felt something walk across my legs. A skunk. Neither of us panicked, so we avoided a stinky situation.

 

[dr_wu002]

This may not qualify as a tent partner. Last weekend, I was sleeping out with no tent. Just a pad and sleeping bag. I woke up when I felt something walk across my legs. A skunk. Neither of us panicked, so we avoided a stinky situation.

Probably not going to spray you unless you do something aggressive. From what I know, skunks are pretty tame and don't spray unless they have to (ie. being molested by a dog). When I was in BSP last year I was sleeping out in what Eric (Barbarossa) calls a "Manly Tarp Tent" and a skunk kept coming in and bothering me, trying to crawl in my blanket or sleeping bag or whatever I had. Guess I won't soak my sleeping apparatus in tuna fish juice again this year.

-Dr. Wu

 

[Chip]

Paradox's dog found sleeping next to Paradox, on my head, quite to his liking on our Carters overnight last winter. Fortunately the dog had no digestive issues.

 

[moonrock]

Probably not going to spray you unless you do something aggressive. From what I know, skunks are pretty tame and don't spray unless they have to (ie. being molested by a dog). When I was in BSP last year I was sleeping out in what Eric (Barbarossa) calls a "Manly Tarp Tent" and a skunk kept coming in and bothering me, trying to crawl in my blanket or sleeping bag or whatever I had. Guess I won't soak my sleeping apparatus in tuna fish juice again this year.

Sheesh ! That close and personal, I'd be more worried whether it carried rabies.

But in Linville Gorge NC, campsites were often visited by spotted skunks right after dinner. I guess they were after the bold, after-dinner mice that were swarming in years past. Who knows: Maybe now it's after-dinner Great Horned Owls !

But anyway, I once startled a trio of them as I was putting out a campfire.
Looking kinda like "Holstein Squirrels", they scampered away and re-assembled under the flap of somebody's tent. Completely unaware of who was a-knockin', the tent occupant started swatting the tent wall from inside, barking "GET AWAY !!" Nothing "transpired", but pretty hilarious.

 

[hikem'all]

A few summers ago my wife and I stayed in a leanto in the daks. Just before dark a group of eight kids and a teacher showed up needing a place to sleep. I thought a nice quiet candle lit night just the two of us and boy did that change. They warned us of the one's who snored and kept two kids to the far side who farted all the time. We have four boys so we sort of knew what we were in for. Talk about a tight fit, but we couldn't turn them away.

 

[dr_wu002]

A few summers ago my wife and I stayed in a leanto in the daks. Just before dark a group of eight kids and a teacher showed up needing a place to sleep. I thought a nice quiet candle lit night just the two of us and boy did that change. They warned us of the one's who snored and kept two kids to the far side who farted all the time. We have four boys so we sort of knew what we were in for. Talk about a tight fit, but we couldn't turn them away.

It just occurred to me that there are some boyscouts out there that must have some interesting stories about staying at the Guyot Shelter on a rainy weekend in June '06 with 6 escaped mental patients. Talk about creepy shelter-mates!

-Dr. Wu

 

[Paradox]

Paradox's dog found sleeping next to Paradox, on my head, quite to his liking on our Carters overnight last winter. Fortunately the dog had no digestive issues.

Zippy mentioned to me that that was the only night she had ever slept with a creep in our tent.

 

[Rob S]

Just don't ever share a tent with a person after they have eaten Mountain House Turkey Tetrazinni! At least not without a gas mask. I am not exaggerating even a little. It was horrible.

 

[Little Rickie]

Textured soy protean has a way of increasing production in the old bio-gas generator.

It's used to bump up the protean in some meals. Perhaps it's in the tetrazinni.

 

[Lawn Sale]

I did the 100 Mile Wilderness two years ago with a woman who always changed in front of everyone...not modest in the least. Her boyfriend didn't even seem to mind.

I arrived at the Chairback Gap lean-to and found 3 guys there that were younger. One had a gap between his teeth a football could fit through, the second wore a very grimy and neck stretched white cotton T-shirt, and the last wore a full weight leather motorcycle jacket and a green mohawk.

I tented.

Turns out they were an insurance agent, a lawyer, and a computer teacher at a high school (in that order!), and some of the nicest people you'd ever meet.

First impressions are sometimes wrong.

 

[Whiteman]

Since someone mentioned animals . . .

The best story I heard about unwelcome animals was from friends sleeping in the dessert in Arizona. Eric woke up to desparate whispers, "Eric! Get the knife! There's a snake in my sleeping bag!"

Eric though better than to go stabbing randomly with his knife, so they waited till the sun came up. And a little longer. It was getting hot, and finally the nice big rattlesnake decided it was warm enough and slithered out, under the guys nose, having enjoyed a nice cozy night.