You Just Might Be An Ultralight Backpacker If...

vftt.org

Help Support vftt.org:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

bubba

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 5, 2003
Messages
1,371
Reaction score
107
Location
H: Allegany County, NY A: The Brothers
I just lifted this from the Finger Lakes Trail Newsletter published by Footprint Press, who authorize the recipient to forward. I herewith "forward" this for your reading enjoyment and give credit to author, Steve Gillman. There are some grins on the list for sure!!

Let me add one and see if anyone else has more to add...

- Fruit is hard to identify because you have pealed each piece

If you you find yourself saying "Hey, that's a good idea," to more than one of the following, you might be an ultralight backpacker. They are collected from various lightweight backpacking forums. For those of you that don't share our passion for ultralight backpacking, let me explain that these are funny, but also mostly true stories.

You Just Might Be An Ultralight Backpacker If...

- Your wife's purse holds more stuff than your backpack.

- You pack light for a family trip to Grandma's house.

- You use the fruit scales in Walmart to determine the weight of a possible new piece of gear.

- At home you use just 4 toilet paper squares, to "practice".

- You read that last one and say, "toilet paper?"

- You have no idea what the title, scale or contour interval of your map is because.... you cut away all of the margins to save weight.

- You sleep at home with the temps turned down while in the buff just to get used to the cold so you can take an even lighter sleeping bag.

- The thought of 1000 fill-power down gives you a little shiver down your spine.

- You're glad you're going bald.

- You're wondering if your compass would still work OK without all that heavy liquid.

- Your woman says, "Go down baby!" and you hop out of bed hootin and hollering and order a Western Mountaineering Highlite!

- You no longer have tags on any clothing you wear.

- Your mailman is trying to figure out why people send you empty boxes all the time.

- You eat with $40 titanium chopsticks instead of a plastic fork because they weigh .01 ounces less.

- You walk through the grocery store thinking "saltines have 1760 calories per pound, but mixed nuts have 2720 calories per pound".

- Your waterproof/breathable rain jacket cost more than your best suit.

- You shave ALL the hair off your body to save a few ounces on your "from the skin out" weight!

- Your trail runners weigh more than your multi day pack.

- You know the weight of your backpack, and not your wife.

- You have to take your tent down to use your combination spork/toothbrush because you used it as a stake.

- You compulsively weigh things you have absolutely NO intention of ever taking backpacking, just because.

- You take laxatives before a trip, just to "lighten the load."

A Note To Backpackers: You might be an ultralight backpacker if you can easily come up with more of these from your own experience.

About The Author

Steve Gillman is a long-time backpacker, and advocate of lightweight backpacking. More of "You Might Be An Ultralight Backpacker," plus advice and stories can be found at http://www.The-Ultralight-Site.com.
 
Light is right.My overnight pack is lighter than my day pack was a few years ago.
You get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.(GD) look right!
 
you certianly do figure out what is IMPORTANT to pack and whats not.....I get lighter EVERY trip..

M
 
Great list!!


I keep an Excel spreadsheet of all my gear and their exact weight (weighed using postal scale). Makes it real easy to calculate how much weight I'm carrying and see what could be left behind.
 
i find that if you tattoo a detailed topo map on your arm or leg you can save a few ounces on paper. plus no chance your map will blow away. ;)
 
Cut all the compression and other straps off your pack. Hike in Tevas even in winter using neoprene socks. Never use a pack with a frame. Then there was the guy at Moody's diner that shared his false teeth with his wife.
 
knock all yer teef out cause you don't wanna carry a toof brush!!!! :D :eek: :D :eek: :D :eek: :D
 
Get a brushcut, trim your fingernails, toenails, nosehair, facial hair, other applicable trimmable hair...
 
jbrown said:
Get a brushcut, trim your fingernails, toenails, nosehair, facial hair, other applicable trimmable hair...
Trim? How about just have all your nails surgically removed... they'll just turn black and fall off anyway :D
 
cbcbd said:
Great list!!


I keep an Excel spreadsheet of all my gear and their exact weight (weighed using postal scale). Makes it real easy to calculate how much weight I'm carrying and see what could be left behind.


I do the same thing, and it allows me to decide what pack I'm taking, what other gear, and how I can shave ounces which lead to pounds. I use the scale in our laboratory to weigh everything, and have developed quite a spreadsheet, right to the tenth of an ounce. I'd be interested to see the spreadsheets others use.
 
rambler said:
Cut all the compression and other straps off your pack.
A buddy of mine cut the shoulder straps from his pack open and took out all the padding...
...then again this is a guy who thru-hiked the AT without a sleeping bag.

Lawn Sale said:
I do the same thing, and it allows me to decide what pack I'm taking, what other gear, and how I can shave ounces which lead to pounds.
Yeah, it's great too because it doubles as a trip checklist - just select all items being used and highlight them red and voila!
 
Last edited:
I have a Gear Weight Calculator program that I found somewhere on the web and downloaded a while ago.

I took all of my gear to the shipping department little by little and weighed all of it down to 1/100th of a pound and entered it in the program.

When I'm going on a hike, I just click open a sub-group, i.e. Cooking gear, Footwear, Outerwear, and select the items that I'm taking on that hike.

Hit the calculate button and a list comes up broken down into groups, with totals and you can just hit print.

(I think it was this one: GWC )
 
prino said:
You are considering bladder reduction surgery!
You can do better than that. Have a catheter installed (titanium, of course) so that the liquid drains immediately. No need to carry around any excess weight.

Also, whatever you do, do NOT answer any of those spams that increase the size of bidy parts (both men and women).
 
Top