Tom, Field, and Willey with Alex: 3 Peaks, 2 Kind Strangers, and 1 Big Mistake (1/31)

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TrishandAlex

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White Mountains, NH
Cut and pasted from http://trishandalex.blogspot.com
Accompanying pictures can be found there.
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Avalon, A-Z, Mt. Tom Spur, Willey Range, and Ethan Pond Trails.

8.5 miles.

Cold as it was, this one started out well enough. Alex and I were happy to have MadRiver with us today, we always enjoy his company. We began our hike in good spirits...I'll let the pictures do the positive talking and save the words for that last bit of the hike...the bit where Mama messed up bigtime.

The good stuff:

<pictures galore>

And now, the bad part:

We stood at the outlook on Willey and congratulated ourselves for successfully ascending all three of today's targeted peaks. As we finished up our snacks, we heard the voices of a friendly couple. They had just come up Willey via the ladder section, the very section we were about to descend. We chatted amicably, then I told them thanks in advance for their assistance on the way down, since they'd probably come upon us sprawled in the snow under one of the steeps. At the time, I didn't realize I was actually predicting the future...

I'd been down the ladder section in the winter before (last January). I well remembered the steep and tricky bits -- at least, I thought I did -- and I told Alex to get behind me and crab-walk. This method worked well. I'd dig in my microspiked heels and slowly inch my way down, never sliding for more than a second, and even then not too quickly. Alex sometimes slid, but she'd run into my back. There were sections where it was okay to buttslide with abandon, which we happily did. After what seemed liked an eternity, I thought the coast was clear, that we were past all the frightening sections. Alex asked if she could go ahead of me and use the new "buttsled" we had brought along. This was our very first hike using a sled, and she had loved using this little piece of plastic during our descent of Tom and Field. Obviously, I had told her she couldn't use it on Willey, at least not until we were finished with the ladders. Which I thought we now were.

Unfortunately, we weren't.

Looking back, I have no idea how or why I let Alex go ahead. I've now accompanied my oldest daughter up and down 58 4K peaks, and on each one of them I have been hyper-vigilant with her safety. I've been 100% on top of things regarding our peakbagging adventures. Except for this one time, when I handed my daughter her little sled and sent her off ahead of me.

It only takes one mistake to turn things sour fast. Luckily, our outcome was a positive one. But it might not have been, and believe me, the thought of what might have been will haunt me for the rest of my life.

Alex happily plopped on her sled, turned a bend, and sailed right over the last section of ladders at the speed of light. After what I'm guessing was about 3 or 4 seconds of extremely fast sledding, she stopped by falling over and running her chest and arm into a tree. I did not see this happen, I was a few steps behind her on the trail. I arrived in time to see her sit up.

She looked up at me and begged me not to buttslide down, she was afraid I would spin out of control, as she had. I moved slowly toward her, since she became hysterical any time I tried to speed up my pace. She was frightened for my safety, the sweet, dear child. As I made my way to her, I asked her about pain (there was none), about where she landed, I asked her if she had hit her head (no). When I finally reached her, I did a "chunk check" and thankfully found that she was not hurt, save for a small scratch on her side. I looked into her eyes and apologized to her, telling her it was all my fault and I was so, so sorry. I also assured her, promised her, that I would never, ever allow this to happen again.

Though she was physically okay, emotionally, she was an understandable wreck. She told me she had gone over the top before even realizing the drop was there. For a second, she thought she had fallen off a cliff. It had been a terribly frightening experience for her.

MadRiver arrived at the top and began to make his way down on crampons. Alex became frightened for him, just as she had been frightened for me. Unfortunately, MadRiver began to slide...he spared himself an out-of-control descent by hooking one leg around a tree. This tactic worked...kind of. Instead of flying down the trail, he ended up hanging upside-down. Though MadRiver was not hurt, but rather jovial about his predicament, Alex was worried nonetheless and burst into a fresh round of tears.

Just then, the couple we met on Willey's summit appeared. The man un-stuck MadRiver, then came to help me with Alex. My daughter was extremely shaken and it took a lot of coaxing before she was willing to get back into a sitting position on the trail. We still needed to get down a very short, steep section -- normally, we could have descended it without much ado. However, Alex no longer wanted to slide even one tiny, little bit. I had her get behind me, then I inched downward, assisted by the kind man and MadRiver. We made sure that Alex and I did not slide quickly, as the poor kid's nerves could no longer handle any fast movements.

Words cannot express how grateful I am to the young couple who assisted us. Both the man and the woman spoke to Alex soothingly, telling her how brave she was, talking to her in gentle tones. If they ever happen to read this -- thank you. You told me your names, but in my preoccupation with Alex I forgot them. I hope someday, under much better circumstances, we meet again.

Alex did eventually calm down and turn back into her usual self, but it took about forty minutes for the transformation to occur. By the time we were at the Ethan Pond Trail, she was displaying her normal descent behavior, running, jumping, wanting me to take photos, laughing, etc.

We came to the steep part just before the railroad tracks...and she asked for her sled (I did not give it to her).

Interesting day. Glad it all turned out well. I am extremely aware that things could have been very, very different. You can't make mistakes out here, of any magnitude. You just can't.
 
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Trish,
Just reading about Alex's harrowing experience butt sliding down the final ladder gave me goosebumps.:eek: Glad no one was injured; including MadRiver. I never have been a fan of "butt sliding".

Donna:)
 
Hi Donna,

On that section, buttsliding -- without a sled! -- might be the safest way to go. The problem was, she was on a sled, and I was not in front of her and therefore I was unable to control her speed or prevent her from going down anything dangerous without my helping hand. Buttsliding itself is rarely an issue, as it's easy to simply put your legs down and slow/stop your descent. We've always been able to stop almost immediately...again, when there's no sled involved!
 
The couple was Tom and Alison, who were very nice and gentle with Alex. Even though she had a frightening experience, she handled it well, as did you. Don’t beat yourself up over this. Winter hiking can be fraught with peril and mistakes can happen. You learn from them and move on. On the up side, I’m pretty confident that Alex is the only 7 year old to launch off the top of the ladder section on Willey with a sled and survived to tell the tale. I on the other hand, need to work on my ladder skills. I eagerly look forward to our next adventure.
 
The couple was Tom and Alison, who were very nice and gentle with Alex. Even though she had a frightening experience, she handled it well, as did you. Don’t beat yourself up over this. Winter hiking can be fraught with peril and mistakes can happen. You learn from them and move on. On the up side, I’m pretty confident that Alex is the only 7 year old to launch off the top of the ladder section on Willey with a sled and survived to tell the tale. I on the other hand, need to work on my ladder skills. I eagerly look forward to our next adventure.

Thanks, MadRiver.

Tom and Alison -- thank you!!

You are kind as always, MadRiver, but my job is to eliminate the dangers of winter hiking as much as humanly possible. I've absolutely learned from this experience, but I still smack my head and wonder why I wasn't my usual "overprotective" self.

Also, just to clarify, we weren't at the top of the ladder section. We were near the bottom. The ladders she went over were the last ones before reaching the bottom of that part of the trail (so, going up, they would be the first set of ladders you come to).
 
Yikes, glad that all of you are ok. In the larger scheme of things, I suppose that these near misses are great learning experiences, but I am always amazed at the apparent innocence of my own close calls. Congrats to all of you for keeping it together and getting out safely.
 
Oh my goodness! I am so grateful (as we all are!) that you both OK!
Ditto on what the good Dr said, we all have certainly learned well from our own scirmishes. Glad this one in particular has a happy ending. Please tell Alex what a brave girl I think she is!
:)
 
Wow - I can just imagine how you must have felt when you realized what happened! I'm glad everyone was OK!

To look on the bright side, like the good Doctor said, things like this can be great learning experiences and Alex may avoid some future incident by remembering this. Fortunately kids bounce back quickly - I am reminded of a harrowing incident on Caps Ridge with my two boys years back - one I'd definitely like to forget... not my best "dad" day. But, these things shape, sober and teach us all - such is life. :)
 
Hi Trish, Very glad the three of you were okay and wonderful to see you and Alex yesterday afternoon! Congratulations on some beautiful winter summits and exciting that Alex got to meet the gray jays!

The subtle and friendly advice I tried to give Alex was just to watch for any signs of danger or obstacles that make her uneasy, because to her credit and yours she is a very bright young girl! Trail obstacles come in all shapes and sizes and will not always be a forgotten steep section. I have come back down a trail on my butt that I climbed earlier only to be confronted by a blowdown with a point headed up the trail. The possibilities are numerous including other hikers climbing and open water in the spring. Having logged a couple of trail miles with you I have seen your diligence and care in action. You do a commendable job with her care and I believe it is okay for you to share with her the duties of being cautious and aware on the trail. I don't mean this as a burden but as growth in being a seasoned hiker along the trail. I am also not saying she should overrule your cautious decisions which are of course your right and oligation as a parent!

I am always so jealous of all the trail time you folks have with your beautiful children. I can foresee that sometime in not so many distant years there will be hikes where Alex and Sage will team up and Alex will be the diligent and caring guide as you have taught her! You all learned the valuable lesson about how fate and small oversights can quake the very earth beneath your feet in milliseconds! As always you folks seem to learn very fast while others of us will take many more years to grow up! Again, glad everyone is okay, had a great day and will enjoy the path again soon! Happy trails!

PS - When you described the strap on sled I was jealous but in hindsight maybe its a little like being strapped on a rocket until you perfect the use!;)
 
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Many lessons to be learned out there but I'm not sure that this is one that you could have truly anticipated. You were clearly being very careful and I believe that you always are. There just isn't any way to completely protect yourself (or Alex) when you are out there since there are always unforeseen things that could happen. I believe that you've both learned to balance the risk well. I really glad that Alex was OK and was back to her old self by the end of the hike. Don't beat yourself up so badly over this.
 
Wow, everyone, thank you so much for your support. I truly appreciate all of your comments. You are all being extremely nice about this.

The subtle and friendly advice I tried to give Alex was just to watch for any signs of danger or obstacles that make her uneasy, because to her credit and yours she is a very bright young girl! Trail obstacles come in all shapes and sizes and will not always be a forgotten steep section.

Dave, I appreciate your intent. I interrupted you because I was worried Alex would think the accident was her fault. It really wasn't, I had just given her the go-ahead and told her that things would be fine. Since I've been on that section of trail before, she was trusting my knowledge of it. We were just around the bend of that section when she took off, and she didn't have time to react before she was already over the steeps.

I agree with what you're saying, definitely. However, in the moment, she was still fresh from the incident and she is the kind of kid who unfairly blames herself for things that truly are not her fault. That's why I interrupted you. I hope you understand.

It was a beautiful thing, seeing you, McRat, happyhiker, Gary, BobC, and Amy at the HC right after our adventure. Sitting and laughing with you good people for a while was like taking a giant spoonful of yummy medicine.
 
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Parenthood is an adventure of the highest form!!:)

^^^This iz korrekt. :rolleyes:

Kids are tough.

^^^Also korrekt.


While it's easy to beat yourself up whenever something bad happens (or nearly happens) to our kids, IMO it's important to try to take a step back and look at the situation more objectively, hard as that might be. My kids are older (12 and 10), but we've had our own share of panic moments. (Two minutes of a lost child at an amusement park will instantly age you about five years... :() The ugly truth is that, as a parent, there is no way to guarantee our children's safety 100% percent of the time. We can only do as much as we can, and hope for a little extra coverage from Lady Luck and the Big Guy upstairs. ;)

Reading your trip reports, it's clear that you are an extremely prepared and conscientious hiker -- and parent. ANY time we go out in da woods, with our offspring or not, there are associated risks. It's evident that you do everything in your power to minimize them, so you shouldn't be too guilt-ridden if a mis-hap does occur. Fortunately, there were no serious injuries.

My guess is that, with time, Alex will get over her immediate fear of sledding/glissading, and will be back to her normal "trail self"...with one additional learning experience under her belt, making her the better hiker (and kid) for it.
 
Glad everyone is ok! Trish, Don't beat yourself up too badly, mistakes happen. Georgia once fell from a counter, necessitating a call to 9-1-1... The officer who was first on scene put it best "The beautiful thing about kids is that they bounce!"

We love you and Alex and Sage - keep up the awesome work with them!

And Rick, glad to know that you came out of your hike intact as well :) (We love you too!)
 
Good report. I'm glad everything turned out well. While reading, I couldn't help thinking about a scene from "Finding Nemo";

Marlin: I promised I'd never let anything happen to him.
Dory: Hmm. That's a funny thing to promise.
Marlin: What?
Dory: Well, you can't never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him. Not much fun for little Harpo.
 
Good report. I'm glad everything turned out well. While reading, I couldn't help thinking about a scene from "Finding Nemo";

Marlin: I promised I'd never let anything happen to him.
Dory: Hmm. That's a funny thing to promise.
Marlin: What?
Dory: Well, you can't never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him. Not much fun for little Harpo.

"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...."

;):)
 
This was definitely white-knuckle reading, and I don't envy you having this moment in your memory to relive.

Glad you're all OK.
 
This thread...

I had to stop and try to control the wave of memories that flooded over me as I read this. The horrors of raising 3 boys, one who seemed to delight in getting lost in crowded places. The waves of guilt that would wash over me when something out of my control would happen.

I think of those "Chuckie Cheese" commercials where the parents have the kids wrapped in bubble wrap. What was I supposed to do, never let them get on a bike? Never get on ice skates? My middle son stood up on the skates, fell and split his chin for 5 stitches. That was a quick lesson. He went on to play hockey until his late teens. The oldest boy was riding double on a bike and his foot went over the tire and through the forks. I had to take the tire off to get him out. What could I have done to prevent any of this?

Stuff happens to kids. We hurt inside and we feel guilty, but it's all part of growing and learning. The quote from Diamond Ridge is very true, "Kids bounce." They are very resilient and they get over stuff a lot faster than we do. I'm sure you'll both be fine and learn to avoid similar situations in the future. I hate to be the prophet of doom but, don't beat yourself up over this one too much, there'll be more... ;) Judging by the way you handled this one, you'll handle future stuff even better!

KDT
 
Well, glad Alex is OK! That chest/arm into a tree is such a classic winter sliding manuever. Several years ago my brother was towing me on a sled behind his snowmachine when a bump sent me airborne and I rolled into a tree wedging myself against with that same move. I mean, c'mon what else is there to stop you, its pretty natural. It jammed hard and would not have been a big deal but its the same elbow I hammered bad in a Super G back in'89. Talk about repetition. Its good to be alive.

Glad that all is good as can be.
 
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