True confessions - They're funny cuz they're true.

[mavs00]

Wow, you guys need plastic utensils Course, my dumb a$$ story ain't much better.

A few years ago, I insisted on Slimmin' down for a multiple day pack-in (with some peaks thrown in). The idea was a 6 mile (mostly level) walk in then followed by some intensive peak hiking and then a final AM walk out.

I planned every bit of food (down to the friggin gram) so that I'd carry NOT 1 OZ more than I needed. All went just fine. The peak day had me hiking about 11 hours and about 6000 ft (10-12 miles or so) and needless to say, come dinner, I was really diggin the prospect of my 2 packets of Ramen Noodles (and the 850 calories they provided).

Sure enough, As the noodles were cooking I was just chilling out right there next to the little MSR stove and my oversized pot. YUP , you guessed it, As I got up to get something, my tired legs kicked the pot right over. Not just a spill either, the entire contents spread over about 5-7 feet of ground (totally unsalvage-able). May not sound like a big deal, but, I had nothing but a couple handfulls of GORP and a a power GEL left to sustain my already calorie deprived body for the next 15-18 hours. I'm not a little dude (5'11", 190#) either, and after a 8-9000 calorie day of hiking (with only about 2000 calories put in), the loss of roughly 1/3 of my daily alotment of food SUCKED real bad.

Needless to say, the next day on the walk out (with a full pack), I was one hurting puppy, and I was dangerously close to a hyperglycemic shut down. Cramps, sluggishness the whole 9 yards. GOD that really was not fun. From that hike forward, FOOD is not included in the weight/space saving equation for me.

I'm quite sure I'm not alone in this one, AM I.

 

[1ADAM12]

Caution Very Long

Well lets see......it was about 15 years ago my brother and I were camping at Rollins Pond campground in the Adirondacks with mom and dad. We took a family vacation there every year for 2 weeks. It was definately some good times. This story is kinda sad and funny all at the same time.

We arrived at the campground and dad set up the camping trailer. My brother and I got the canoe off the truck and put it in the water. We asked if we could go for a paddle and of course mom and dad said go for it. IT was about 5pm and we paddled into Floodwood Pond from Rollins. MY brother was driving the canoe and i told him to look out there was a log sticking part way out of the water. He started laughing and started paddling harder right for the log.

So dumby me said what the hell and started paddling too. All I was thinking at this point was the faster i paddle maybe we can skim over the log without beaching the canoe. Boy was I wrong!!!!! We hit that log and the canoe bottomed out half way over. Now the canoe is like a teeder todder....we are stuck and unstable. At this point my brother was laughing so hard I thought he was going to peeeeee himself and the whole time I am bitching at him.

Well when my bro calmed down I told him to carefully walk towards the front of the canoe so we could unbeach it. Well he made it almost to the front of the canoe and you guest it we went over. Now picture this the canoe we have is an old aluminum and it weighs just over 100 pounds. Now how are we going to get this thing tipped back over and get the water out of it? We tried moving the canoe to shore but it was all mucky and we could not get out without sinking in mud. So we tipped the canoe over and used our shoes to bail most of the water out. This took at least an hour or so and its starting to get dark at this point. I could have killed my brother....lol I was only like 16 at the time and my brother was like 14 just to give you an idea how we got outselves in this mess. When your that age there is non fear....lol

We finally made it back to camp and it was now around 930 pm and it was dark. We were gone just about 5 hours and of course mom was worried about us. Man did we get an earfull.....lol

The next day we awake and Aaron had the bright idea to tie a rope in a tree and make a swing. I thought this was a good idea since mom said no more canoeing for a few days....lol Well we made a swing and had a good time. Now Aaron gets the bright idea he wants the rope back. Well he had tied a slip not and tossed it over a branch about 15 feet in the tree. We were not getting this rope back unless we break the limb.

So Aaron and I tied a couple loops in the bottom of the rope and started jumping to try and break the limb. Well sure enough we broke the limb and the force it came down in was fierce. The limb on the way down hit my brother in the face. There was blood all over. Mom came out of the trailer and could not believe her eyes. We quicky hopped in the truck and headed for the Adirondack Medical Center.

When we arrived the nurses and doctors immediately took Aaron in the ER room. The whole time i am in the waiting room looking around. If any of you have been there the waiting room is quite a site. There are fishing luers all over the border of the room from where doctors have removed them from the fishermans heads,hands, wherever they were imbeded.

The doctors could not believe how lucky Aaron was. HE had splinters sticking out of his face from the branch. They had to put my brother under to remove them and irrigate his face. The branch pierced a hole all the way to the inside of his mouth. When it was all said and done he walked out of there with over 30 stitches in his face.

The doctor said with all the loggers he has encountered up there he has never expierenced something as bad as my brother. He warned my brother he would probably have one heck of a scar and that his modeling career has ended....lol We had to go back to the Medical center everyday for the 2 weeks we were there to make sure the infection was ok. Also the funny part is he has to get a shot in his ass for the next 4 days....now that was funny!

To make a long story longer.....lol To this day my brother hardly has a scar but he does still pick wood out of his face from time to time and about a month ago his face swelled up and he had to go on an antibiotic to take care of it. The doctors said it was probably from his accident in the mountains.

So that is my story!!! Aaron and I still talk about that trip and even though it was funny and sad it was still one of the best trips we took!!!!!!!

 

[adirobdack46r]

Great to see Tim and Nick here....

On my second hike ever, my friend and I ran in to conditions we had not planned for. Snow and Ice. We were only prepaired for spring type weather but we learned fast that in the Adirondacks that can be like winter conditions to most other places. We were attempting to hike Marcy. We had stayed over night near Bushnell falls, shivering to stay warm. The next day we headed for the top. We figured if we kept moving we'd be alright. My friend's knee started having problems and wanted to turn back, I said I made it this far I want the summit, "I'll catch back up with you later" I said. That was the 1st mistake, I'll never separate from my buddy again. So my dog and I continued up. Ran in to blustery winds and glare ice on the rock face. Totaly unprepaired we pressed on, me in my boots, no crampons. 2nd mistake, don't drive forward when everything is telling you not to. After hoisting my dog up a big section and telling him to stay put, easier said then done as he was slipping and sliding on the ice as well, I then tried to get up where he was. He started to slide and not being able to help him all I could do was watch as he slid about 20ft along the sheet of ice we were on and, when he came to the edge he then fell about 10ft straight down to the ground below. Boy did I luck out. He could have easily broken a leg or impailed himself on some branches sticking up from a downed tree near where he fell. How was I who could hardly stand up on my own carry an injured 130 lb dog back down the mountain?! Found a wind break, gave my dog and I some energy bars and proceeded down, once out of the wind I started to get some feeling back. Never saw my buddy again till all the way back out to the Garden. Yup learned a couple lessons that day...........

 

[Mad Townie]

And if you hang around this orb long enough, you get to pull more than one cute move.

I did a Periwinkle once and a MichaelJ once, both in my kitchen. The Peri was with a bread knife and the MichaelJ with a serrated steak knife and an orange. Gotta love that citric acid!

Then there was the time my buddy Shrink Rap and I went for a nice easy snowshoe walk up Pleasant Mountain, a place we'd been many times before. It was snowing lightly at the summit, and we blissfully headed down the other side of the mountain. Lucky for us it wasn't a far walk out to 302 and a brief hitchhike back to the truck.

Oh, and how about spotting a car for a canoe day trip, driving up to the put-in spot, and stowing the keys to the spotted car safely in the glove box of the second car. Hey, at least they didn't fall out into the Saco River!

Early in my mountain career I took the BSP instructions seriously for my first climb of Katahdin. Carried a big pack with lots of warm clothes and a sleeping bag. I was so packed up that the ranger asked if I were planning to spend the night. The date and weather? It was Memorial Day weekend, and the temp going up the Abol Slide was in the 80s.

There must be some others I'm forgetting, too. So, anyone want to go hiking with me?

 

[AMF]

What the heck - I'll add one more..

Many moons ago, on a winter trip into the Cedar River Flow area, I drew kitchen cleanup duty. It being bitterly cold (at least -15F), I thought I would wait till morning light to clean up. I woke to a pot with frozen gruel clinging to the sides. Hmm... how to get this stuff out... I know - the bottom ferrule of an ice axe! After diligently chipping away for a few minutes, I had managed to produce an excellent colander. Made a great spagetti strainer, but wouldn't hold water worth a darn. Doh!

 

[MadRiver]

Let me see:

The first time I climbed Mt. Washington back in 1984, I was dressed in my best tennis whites (one never knows when one will happen upon a pick up game of tennis). Half way up the clouds moved in and the temperature plummeted. By the time I reached the summit, I was a sniveling puddle of humanity wanting nothing more than my mommy.

I hiked from Gray Knob up and over the ridge and down Six Husband with a full pack in a blinding snowstorm alone. Stupid, stupid, stupid!!

I and a friend planned an overnight at Sage’s Ravine. The only problem was we didn’t believe the weather forecast that called for an ice storm. We ended up running for our car alone Mt. Washington Road dodging falling branches and trees laden with ice.

I’m sure there will be more in the years to come.

 

[KayakDan]

Well...since we're gonna share all our "what were you thinking?" moments.
First ever campout with me and Mrs KD,we camp at Big Rock on the Kanc,to go canoeing the next day. We arrive in the dark,and as I unload our tons of gear,I carefully walk around the large rocks placed at the end of the parking space. As I grabbed another pile of gear,I accidentally shined the flashlight right in my face. Night vision is now zero,I turn around and SPLAT! Yup,right over that big rock-no skin left on my left shin(still got the scar!).
My wife hears a thud,shines her flashlight to see a disheveled bloody mess,lying on the ground,moaning"****!-did I rip my good jacket?"
Priorities! Skin heals-outdoor gear doesn't!

 

[MadRiver]

I was hesitant to mention this incident earlier because it was just so stupid. I and a friend decided to do Welsh/Dickey about a month ago. Normally we do it counterclockwise in the winter, but for some reason we decided to do it clockwise. After reaching the first exposed slabs we entered the woods and came out at the next long open slab. Those of you who have hiked Welsh/Dickey will know the open area I’m talking about. Once we reached the top, and just before entering the woods again, I decided for some strange reason to practice my self-arresting skills.

Normally this would be a great spot for self-arresting except for the fact that there wasn’t a spot of snow on the slab only ice. Undeterred by this minor point, I got into my self-arresting position and pushed off. As you can guess, it didn’t take long before I realized my folly. I used every technique I could think of to slow my descent, but nothing seemed to work. My friend had a look of horror on his faces as I hurled towards the trees and the eventual cliff. My only thought was how was he going to tell my wife that I died on Dickey of all places. Washington I can see, Dickey is just embarrassing.

After what seemed like an eternity, I was finally able to hit, and I do mean hit, a snow island that stopped my descent. My new pants were ripped to shreds and I had punctured my gaiters with my crampons. Once I reached the top where my friend was waiting I smiled and said, “That was fun, do you want to try”. He just looked at me and shook his head and walked away.

 

[Rugger]

When my brother and I were in our teens, we took the wooden canoe out fly fishing. The pond was fed by a brook that beavers had damned about every 100 yrds creating a series of "locks". This channel was surrounded by mud banks, swamps and brush. on the way back down, we got the idea that if we went fast enough, we could go over the dam and drop down to the lower level. Of course we got stuck with me hanging out over the dam, cracked the canoe in the middle and no way to walk out. one of us bailed and one paddled to get back to camp. We did learn how to repair a wooden canoe though.

 

[percious]

Albee-
Having lived through a similar experience, I have no idea how you did it 2x! I had it so badly, it was in between my fingers and in my rear end, and it was just miserable. I was too embarrassed to tell my parents (I was 12 at the time) so I just grit and beared it for about 2 weeks while it healed. Going to the bathroom was not pleasent. "Hind"sight, I probably should have gone to the doctor, or at least used calamine lotion.

-percious

 

[Gris]

Where to begin and where to end? Maybe just a couple of relatively recent "harrowing" incidents that come to mind:

1 - skiing bretton/west mtn couple years ago - needed to relieve myself, walked south, did that, then on account of views extended the "hike" and soon found myself falling thru powder and hanging on for life at the top of some cliffs...

2 - fly fishing in S.A. must have watched "A River Runs Through It" too many times. ended up doing a "Brad Pitt" (where he bobs down rapids whilst landing a trophy trout). Let's just say it's not as easy or fun as it looks in the movies...

 

[twigeater]

Good thread - funny stories!

Mad Townie, my first hike up Katahdin was just the opposite...
I started up the Abol trail on a #3 day in jean shorts and canvas sneakers with two kids around age 10. I figured a little rain never hurt anybody, and it was just a hike. We carried jackets, snacks and a jug of cool aid.
We leap frogged with others for a bit, then everyone else disappeared. It rained lightly, then the fog rolled in...it soon became slippery and very cold. I didn't dare turn around as the ranger had warned us against coming down the Abol trail.

The tableland looked like the moon, but I was thrilled to be there, cause that meant I could start heading back to camp. Little did I know I'd be on my butt most of the way down the Hunt Trail as when the fog would roll away I'd get a view down into the ravines.

When we finally got back to camp, wet and cold, my friend who was waiting for us was practically in tears because our scrambled eggs that we were refrigerating in the stream had floated away. They got hung up on some rocks in front of another lean-to but she didn't dare go get them.
I got the eggs, we all jumped in her teeny little car, changed clothes, and cranked the heater as we drove the perimeter road.

That hike wore holes in my sneakers and shorts, and I learned TONs that day.

MT - I'll hike with you again anytime!

 

[Adk_dib]

my first two years of hiking i was a climbing machine, never even got tired. the next year I was going to do Mckensie by lake placid (2000 foot accent). I did not eat breakfast, had only 2 granola bars and plain water with me. I bonked bad. I could see the summit but I knew I had a long trip back to the car so turned around. barly made it back to car. Its hell getting old! this year I am going back to summit this sucker and I will be prepared!
"stupid is as stupid does"

 

[weatherman]

two things

1. Locking keys to spotted car in car at start (as mentioned before) and trying to find a taxi service in the middle of a snowstorm on the Long Trail by spotty coverage cell phone. But the plan succeeded!!!

2. Almost setting a tent platform at Guyot Campsite on fire by setting up my brother's MSR Whisperlite with the fuel valve upside down. Then running like hell when I saw the flames spreading over the platform, and leaving my brother to put the fire out. oops.....

 

[Chip]

I often hike alone, but no real disasters YET (He says knocking on wood).
I did just pull a "Periwinkle" in my kitchen last week trying to open a box from Campmor with my little swiss army.
On an overnight in January with a buddy on the Appalachian I filled my stoves tank with a filler spout cap attached to the regular cap of my fuel bottle. After dinner we packed everything away for the night, got the gear into the vestibule and settled down. Within minutes we were overwhelmed by the smell of white gas - I had failed to replace the filler spout with the regular cap, the entire bottle had emptied into my pack.
Good thing my buddy packs heavy and had plenty of extra fuel.

 

[1ADAM12]

Albee-
Having lived through a similar experience, I have no idea how you did it 2x! I had it so badly, it was in between my fingers and in my rear end, and it was just miserable. I was too embarrassed to tell my parents (I was 12 at the time) so I just grit and beared it for about 2 weeks while it healed. Going to the bathroom was not pleasent. "Hind"sight, I probably should have gone to the doctor, or at least used calamine lotion.

-percious

Albee and Percius,

I also got poison ivy really bad. Somehow I got it in the pelvic region. Must be I had it on my hand when I used the bathroom in the back country. I now know what poison ivy looks like and I stay clear.....lol I think i was about 14. Albee I know how you felt my situation was no better. I also told no one until now....lol I never went to the doctors either. I just grinned, Itched, and bared it.

 

[forestgnome]

Ah, the "Mt Monroe Meltdown"! Hiked up Amonoosuc Ravine in early May. Warned by two seperate descending parties about approaching thunderstorm. Went above treeline anyway, heading for Mt Eisenhower. Saw a big black cloud mass way off to the south-west, thought "there it is and it's miles away". Kept going. Then the rain started, then hail, then sideways hail pummeling my body, shredding off my silly rain poncho. Then the lightning started. I wanted to be back in the trees badly so I turned around for Am. Ravine. FLASH, BANG! I was terrified. I then decided to just go straight down for the trees. FLASH, BANG! FLASH, BANG! I dropped my brand new poles, fearing they were lightning rods. As I scurried my pack opened up, all contents, including camera, bouncing off my calves. Huddled, scared and wet, in the trees praying for dear life as the storm raged for an hour.
I gained great respect for the mountains from the "MT Monroe Meltdown".

 

[sierra]

I love this thread and wish I could camp with all the above contributors at the same time IM proud to say this story is recent (so much for age and smarts). I hike with trekking poles, but I have a stash of great hiking sticks when I feel like being natural and non techno. Now by far the best place to get a great hiking stick is at a beaver dam, beavers can carve up a stick like no one else, anywho IM coming off MT Evans (CO) barrleling down Guenella pass rd when I see a beaver dam. I say cool new stick time I wade in the creek to the dam, but find the selection unsatisfactory, when I gaze up at the biggest most beautifull beaver den Ive ever seen. I figure the best sticks must be used for the house as I would do, so I wade over and climb up onto the den. It only takes a minute and I have a beute, just then, I hear a splash and turn to see Mr. Beaver hanging on to the den making a hissing noise like Ive never heard. I have the stick, now a defense weapon not a hiking stick( not that I want to hit a beaver) Im worried if I enter the water he will attack, his teeth where incredible!!! but I have no choice, I choose the not so gracefull but dam fast method of jumping in the water and running like hell. I made it to shore, Im sure he was happy just to see me gone, the stick is in my living room, man I love that stick, but will stick to the dams only in the future.

 

[Jeebus]

Napoleon Dynamite would read this and say: "Gosh....idiot. you guys are retarded"

great thread.

A lot of you should stay away from sharp objects.

My story is pretty embarassing...I had already filled up my "pee" bottle on a cold (20 below) night and decided to use a ziploc bag. in fact I doubled them up for extra safety. needless to say, it had tiny pinhole leaks because I had carried packets of tuna in it which must have poked holes...

 

[Haystacker]

On my one and only scouting trip to Sabatas in the Daks, I went into the latrene. I had my nice new Boy Scout pocket knife sheathed between my first belt loop and my buckle. I undid my buckle to relieve myself, and said pocket knife slid off of belt and fell into the latrean. Thus started a decade-long problem with things falling into latreans, followed by a decade of fear of latreans.
Yes, I fished everything out.