I didn't hold out much hope but now I am happy I took the time to share my plans with them.
In a nutshell I let them know that if they did not need us, I certainly did not need them, and would be camping in VT 100% of the time. The money I save on gas alone would make it well worth my while to avoid the Whites.
My off season trips could continue and I stay at Pinkham for those. No regrets.