Funny Questions

[dvbl]

My last time coming down Lions Head, a 15'ish year old boy hiking by himself asked, "Do you know where Lakes of the Clouds Hut is?"
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Coming down Osgood Ridge, about half way between Osgood Junction and Osgood Tentsite, a 15'ish boy (notice a trend?) looking totally beat asked me, "How much longer do I have?" Since I had no idea where he was going, I smiled and said, "Depends how fast you hike."
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In both of these cases, I took out my map and gave them the best info I could. I don't think there was any danger because in both cases the weather was ok and they were simply hiking ahead of their group, as teenagers will do. But I loved the questions, and they both made me laugh afterwards. These are some of the unexpected pleasures of hiking. Anyone care to share some laughs with "funny questions" stories. This is meant to be good-natured humor, not making fun of people.

 

[MadRiver]

I've been asked several times by males to lie to their girlfriends about how much longer it is to the summit. In all cases, I add a caveat about burning in Hell.

 

[Chip]

On Jackson for the Flags event a thru-hiker asked where Maine was. I believe it was Gram, a new member here, who responded "Just over there..". The thru-hiker was THRILLED, like they'd be there the next day

 

[audrey]

These weren't questions, but a couple of comments out of the mouths of babes:

On one of the Sugarloaves near Newfound Lake, a straggler from a group of kids pouted and proclaimed, "Mr. ____ said we were going to climb a hill, but this isn't a hill, it's a mountain!"

On Monadnock, not far from the summit, the slowest pokiest kid was dragging along, whacking a stick at everything he could reach, muttering, "Miss ____ is a liar. She said we were almost there. Well, we're NOT!"

 

[trailbiscuit]

"Where do you sleep?"
"What do you eat?"
"What about bears?"
"What happens when it rains?"

Those are typical on any backpack.
My second favorite:
(Heard often from GA to ME) "Are you thruhiking?" To which I always responded, "We're not through yet." Some people got it. Some people thought I was just being a wise ass, which may or may not be the case.

My absolute favorite:
"Is that a kilt?"
"No, it's a skirt."

 

[MattC]

Here's one I heard about second hand. A hiker was returning from Mt. Marcy and he saw an unprepared fellow coming in-not an unusual sight, unfortunately. This fellow had no pack, food, water, proper clothing or gear. He did however have a guitar. No guitar case, just a guitar carried over his shoulder. He simply asked "Hey man, which way to Marcy?" When I heard this story, I visualized the guy as looking like Tommy Chong.

Matt

 

[lattinhill]

Also not a question, but one we got a chuckle out of on Saturday. While up in the Wildcats we passed a family resting near the gondola and one was a boy of 7 or 8 who warned me, "Mister, this trail goes on forever" ! Well yeah!

Dave

 

[Tom Rankin]

a boy of 7 or 8 who warned me, "Mister, this trail goes on forever" ! Well yeah!

Indeed!

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

-- J R R Tolkien

 

[Rik]

Once on Whiteface (NY) in the summer I was asked, "What do they do will all the snow?"

 

[JCE]

Going up North Twin, passing about 15 younger people who were out on a school / wilderness event; "You do this (hiking) because you WANT to?"

On Bigelow's Avery Peak, also encountering a group of about 12 young people in mid / later afternoon, one asks "How far is it to Horn Pond?", we said "You have about 3 miles to go.", he responds "Guess I 'll just die here right now!".

 

[SteveHiker]

In the col between East Peak and Osceola, just below the chimney, a couple asked me, as they headed towards East Peak, if this was the way to Trapelo Road.

Isn't that somewhere in Massachusetts?

 

[julianne]

"What's a pretty girl like you doing carrying a big old axe like that?"

 

[1ADAM12]

Once on Whiteface (NY) in the summer I was asked, "What do they do will all the snow?"

I hiked Whiteface 2 weekends ago and as I approached the summit an older lady asked "you walked up here" I replied "well yes I did" I then asked her how she got up here and she chuckled, shes like I drove. I replied DAMN you can drive up here Shes like well if you would like a ride down I can give you one I said no thanks I will go back down the same way I came up.

People on Whiteface are funny tourists

 

[sleeping bear]

I was on my way back from a dayhike in the whites last spring and had stopped at a gas station to fill up and get a coffee. I was pumping gas when an Indian man pulled up and began pumping gas as well. He proceeded to ask another man (in very broken English) how much further it was to 95. To which the other man asked him a few more questions about where he was going and discovered he was headed to New York from Boston. He thought he was going South. This was at about 7:30 PM in Lincoln if I remember correctly. I chuckled the whole way home.

 

[David Metsky]

On the Crawford Path, along side Monroe, in a dense fog. I was headed north, they were headed south.

They: How far to Mt Washington?
Me: About 25,000 miles, and some stretches are a little wet.
They: ?
Me: You're headed the wrong way. Follow me.

Keep in mind, this isn't a tourist, or flatlander, or newbie thing. All of us have asked odd questions from time to time. I know I have.

Julie, I've seen you with an axe and with a chainsaw. It's a scary sight.

-dave-

 

[Puck]

Years ago I hiked Washington with a friend. We came up from Glenn Boulder. He is always an angler. He claimed that we should cross some good brooks for trout. So I asked him if had looked at a map. He said that he had. I did not want to argue...after all he was carrying his own tackle, fishing pole sticking up out of his pack. At the summit of Washington he was approached "We saw you and wondered why you were carrying such a big radio." He told them that it was a fishing pole. They were to confused and perplexed to frame a response.

 

[dug]

Hiker #1 (Dressed in full TNF Gore-Tex Pants, L.L. Bean Gore-Tex Jacket, crampons, plastic climbing boots, goggles, hat, gloves, poles, and an estimated 3,000 cu.in. pack about half full)

Hiker #2 (Dressed in shorts, T-shirt, leather climbing boots, baseball hat, sunglasses, 2,000 cu.in. pack about half full)

Location: Crawford Path, about 300' below the summit of Mt. Washington
Time: About noon, about a week before Thanksgiving 5-6 years ago.


#1: You're going up there dressed like that?

#2: Yes, why?

#1: Don't you know that the weather can change at any minute? Several people die on the summit of Mt. Washington every year!! You shouldn't be up here dressed like that.

#2: It's 60 degrees and sunny. Forecast is for the same all day.

#1: You don't even have any crampons!

#2: I'm walking on bare rock.

#1: What if it turns to ice?

#2: It's 60 degrees and sunny. Forecast is for the same all day.

#1 (mumbling and turning away): Some people just don't get it...

#2: Have a nice day! (Turns to friend and calls #1 an explative.)

It was a rather funny exchange

 

[KayakDan]

Winter Camping questions..all the time...
Best one was"So...do you have like..an insulated tent to stay warm? What kind of heater do you bring?"
Or

(them),"winter camp?like in a tent?"
(me) Yes,in a tent.
(them) Outside?!!!

And there's the kayak version(new kayakers)
What if the boat tips over?
You fall out. We put you back in the boat.
Really?!
Yes. Drowning is not allowed on these trips.

 

[cbcbd]

While descending the Mt Washington summit cone at a pretty good clip with my bro-in-law - both of us wielding our trekking poles and swinging them swiftly and we hopped the rocks. Both of us came upon these younger girls coming up:

them: "Are you guys professional hikers or something?"
me: "Yep. We've even been featured on 'Hiker' magazine, have you seen it"?
them: "Oh wow, really? I didn't even know there was a hiking magazine"
me: "There isn't really. We just like hiking".

 

[Jay H]

On a similar vein, how about funny questions that you've asked others on the trail?

Case in point: While a bunch of us were paddling the Wood River in Rhode Island, Darren, in an 18ft P&H Orion asks a fisherman (who was probably not too happy to see us in the first place), "Which way is the ocean"? I doubt the fisherman got the in-joke but I couldn't stop laughing.

Jay