Hiking terms that don't exist, but should

vftt.org

Help Support vftt.org:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

Solitary

New member
Joined
Apr 2, 2008
Messages
123
Reaction score
192
sausage fingers: noun. the swelling that occurs in fingers when backpacking.

Sample sentence: She tried to tie her hiking boots but couldn't because of her sausage fingers.

calfenate: verb. to hit the calf of the opposite leg with your hiking boot, leaving a dirty mark.

Sample sentence: In the shower after the hike, she had to scrub her legs because they had been calfenated.

Any others?
 
Floundering: (verb) the act of plodding oneself through mushy snow. Usually in the spring months.

Simple Sentence: Mary and Art were forced into floundering due to the warm temps, remaining snowfall and the lack of snowshoes.

250px-Pseudopleuronectes_americanus.jpg


Jay
 
Hikersblock: When you have no ideas about where to go this weekend.

Used in a sentence: My family wants to go hiking tomorrow, but I have a case of hikerblock on where to go.
 
Down goes Frazier: When you do a face plant in the snow when you trip over your snowshoes:

Sample sentence: Steve did several down goes Frazier on his first day in snowshoes.

Cramp-plant: Doing a down goes Frazier while wearing crampons.

Sample sentence: I need to do a Senator Craig to stop Cramp-planting.

Blowback: Walking behind someone who had chili the night before.

Sample sentence: If I walk into one more blowback I will vomit.
 
Gearpaction - the act of cramming all necessary items for an outing into your pack.

Use in a sentence: My pack looked all puffed out due to this mornings gearpaction.

I know, I have to give comedian Rich Hall credit for this, it's close to his snigglet - Garpaction (cramming garbage into a trash bag.)
 
Balance beam: Center of the melting snow pack

Sample Sentence: Unless you walk the balance beam you're going down. :eek:
 
"To pocketpat": to look for one's map at a junction
Example: "Had to Pocketpat at Appalachia to figure out where to go"

"Nalgene Moustache": the splash of water around your mouth when you sip from a Nalgene
Example: "Stopped and got a Nalgene Moustache."

"Premature trailhead": the act of thinking that the trailhead was just around the next corner - and it wasn't.
Example: "As I came downhill it was getting dark and I was cold when I had a bad bout of Premature Trailhead."
 
Virtual (or Virtua) Hiker: one with high post counts but low miles :D

ie. No, I've never seen Johnny Typer on the trail... I don't even know his real name... I'm guessing he's a virtual hiker.

Solitary said:
calfenate: verb. to hit the calf of the opposite leg with your hiking boot, leaving a dirty mark.
Lol, I like that one. Sounds like caffenate... which is what I'm doing right now!

jarhead said:
C'mon. this is ridiculous. :confused:
Sorry, "ridiculous" is already a word ;) Who are you and what did you do to jarhead's sense of humor!!?


I anxiously await your next post in 2010 :D
 
Last edited:
;)

Peakbragger: Someone who hikes solely for the purpose of checking it off a list.

Example: Once we got to the summit, we met some hikers, a few tourists, and a handful of peakbraggers.

( and yes, I am kidding - kinda)
 
Alookanooni -- pronunciation: a look' a noon ee (the look rhymes with wookie)

Meaning: A warning to move ahead (or upwind), given before farting

Purpose: To help your family and friends avoid "blowback" (see MadRiver, above)

Used in a sentence: "Alookanooni"

Derivation: Ancient native american term, meant originally as term of honor, as in "take the lead" or "lead the war party" but later colloquially adapted to the avoidance of flatulence.

All of this is, of course, fiction, but alookanooni has, in fact, been in our family lexicon and my small hiking circles for decades. Actual origin c. 1973 in the Adirondacks. Spelling may vary.
 
Last edited:
Jay H said:
Floundering: (verb) the act of plodding oneself through mushy snow. Usually in the spring months.

Simple Sentence: Mary and Art were forced into floundering due to the warm temps, remaining snowfall and the lack of snowshoes.

250px-Pseudopleuronectes_americanus.jpg


Jay

We've used floundering to describe the action taken to get out of an icy stream when you were face down under a 45lb pack.

Another: "Happy hiker jig" A quick stumbling down the trail due to catching your toe on a rock or roots. Requires more than one step in the stumble, must regain your balance without assistance. Similar to an Irish jig only done more or less sober with the aid of a heavy pack. "Happy- because it didn't result in a face plant! ;) Any more than three involuntary "Happy hiker jigs" in a row constitutes time for a pack-off break to figure out why your not traveling safely! :rolleyes:
 
Sorry, "ridiculous" is already a word ;) Who are you and what did you do to jarhead's sense of humor!!?


I anxiously await your next post in 2010 :D[/QUOTE]

that is toooo funny
 
Top