gaiagirl
New member
My last of the NH48 hikes was The Bonds on December 10, 2005. I was determined to finish before the New Year, though I'm not completely sure why. Ending what has been at times a very difficult year on a positive, triumphant note I suppose is what I was driving for. Anyway, I had managed to find people to go with to bag Isolation and Owl's Head in the previous weeks, and felt very lucky to have done so. Both were excellent and enjoyable hikes with great hiking companions (Arm and Swamp on Owl's Head and NH_Mtn_Hiker on Isolation, respectively ---Thanks guys 
!!) . I tried unsuccessfully to find folks to join me for the Bonds (all 3 summits in one day hike in Winter?.. Good god what was I thinking?!!!) twice posting plans and not hearing from anyone. Until just a few weeks ago. Tompar replied to my email and we arranged to meet at 6:30AM at Lincoln Woods. He wanted to meet earlier and we compromised so that I could get some sleep before my early drive. I arrived a few minutes early and found him just getting up and about. He had slept nearby and had not slept well unfortunately. We didn't get on the trail until about 7:20AM. We had fresh snow to contend with but not a lot, perhaps 4 inches on the Lincoln Woods and Wilderness Trails. I broke trail a good portion of the way for most of the first leg of the hike, with Tom taking over once we got onto Bondcliff Trail. The temperature was pretty mild and while there were clouds and some fog, we could see blue sky and glimpses of the sun peeking through here and there. I was excited to hopefully be getting some of the most anticipated views in the Whites from what I'd seen and heard. I wanted this hike to be as special as possible.
We made it up to Bondcliff in good time, I felt, but due to the late start Tom felt uncomfortable going further. I was definitely disappointed but talked myself into being okay with it. I told myself I would come out again the following weekend and hopefully have some friends along and make it more celebratory. Everything was pretty well socked in up on the ridge, also, so I thought maybe coming back to try again would give me a better chance for blue skies and incomparable views that I was hoping for. So, we turned around and headed back down. About 10 minutes after we started to descend below tree-line something odd happened. I could see someone coming up the trail towards us. I said Hi and he responded with "Are you Chris??" and somehow I knew I was going to be finishing the NH48 on this day with those words. I learned that Jim Frati had seen my post here on VFTT and was hoping to catch us in the parking lot but was about 45 minutes behind us. He was ready to head up and I wanted badly to finish, so I bade Tom a thank you for joining me and a warm goodbye and began my second ascent of Bondcliff on this day with Jim. Turns out he actually thought I was planning on only doing Bondcliff as well, but when he figured it out I think he just wanted to help me reach my goal, no matter how late we might be coming down. If I had known how late it would be I don?t think I would have continued on, though I am incredibly glad I did.
Back up on Bondcliff and still no views, though the wind seemed to be whipping up a tiny bit in comparison to the surprising stillness earlier. On we went to the summit of Bond itself and we started to see blue sky and peeks of the sun and color in the sky as well, as the clouds literally flew past us, and would suddenly reveal awesome views of snow-capped summits around us. I knew I was going to finish and I was going to get some of the views I'd been waiting for, and I couldn't believe it. I was thrilled and surprised and sad all at the same time. I was going to finish and Mother Nature was letting me glimpse all the beauty that the White Mountains hold and I was there experiencing it under very different circustances than I had expected or planned on when my quest for the NH48 began. Not everyone who I hoped would be there with me finishing this journey could be, and my sense of loss over that is still painful and hard to reconcile. I expressed my awe, sadness and raw emotion to Jim, then I apologized to him and wept openly. By this time my ankles were rubbed raw from inadequate winter boots and I had strained my left quad earlier on my first ascent of Bondcliff due to my packed-to-bursting and somewhat ill-fitting backpack, but wasn't feeling much of it yet. On we went to the spur trail to West Bond.
By the time we reached our last of the 3 summits the sun was beginning to set and though it was still mostly cloudy, there were breaks in the clouds and we had some brief distant views and beneath the clouds the sky was a vibrant orange-red. It was spectacular. On the way back down the spur trail, Jim started cruising way ahead of me. By this time I was really only limping along. Now that I had summitted my last 3 of the NH48 and so many miles breaking trail and struggling with inadequate equipment were past, I was starting to feel some of the damage I'd done. It was starting to get dark too and I began to get nervous about Jim getting so far ahead of me. I don't have a lot of confidence in myself when it comes to finding my way on the trail alone, and when darkness starts to fall it is only heightened for me, especially in winter. I've been lost and confused on the trail in the past, and I began to imagine that somehow I was on the wrong trail and had lost Jim. The mind plays tricks if you let it, and I can certainly do that with the best of them! A hike like this, or perhaps any hike for me, exposes fears, of which I have many. Fear of being alone, fear of the dark, fear of using my own wits and fending for myself. They are all there, and all I can say is that at least I am aware of them and I believe that hiking is as good an outlet for working on them as any. ( Hiking is life and life is hiking; that is what I have come to discover. ) I had a few panicky minutes before Jim slowed down enough for me to catch up with him, and on we went making our way back over Bond and Bondcliff and then below tree-line past all the blowdowns Tom and I had encountered on the way up that were at least cleared of snow by now.
Most of the descent of this hike was quite difficult for me and I was moving very slowly by now. I felt as if I was practically crawling due to the quad strain. It was very, very late by the time we got back to the Lincoln Woods Trail, and there were times when I wasn't sure I could keep walking. I think possibly I wouldn't have if it weren't for Jim, who was as supportive and amazing a hiking partner as anyone could possibly ask for. We talked and joked and I thought funny and amusing things in my head just to get through it and finish. I talked about and longed for the Diet Snapple in my trunk, giving myself a cold tasty motivation to keep walking and get back to my car. (When I got there, Jim had started and warmed up my car, and there was an ice-cold Snapple sitting in my front seat waiting for me .... The man is my hero !!!) With about 3.5 miles left, hurting badly and knowing how late it was getting, the thought actually occurred to me that if someone had to come and get me with a litter to get me out of there that the 3 summits wouldn't count for the NH48, and, if I had gone almost 20 miles already, I could damn well do a few more!!! Those who are close to me have called me a fighter, a survivor, and determined (stubborn and obsessive have also come up !!) many times in the past, but I've never seen myself that way. After this particular hike, I think perhaps it is time I began to. I got back to my car, happy to have it warm, and happy to taste that diet Snapple, just before Midnight. It really was an amazing journey. I will never forget any of it.
!!) . I tried unsuccessfully to find folks to join me for the Bonds (all 3 summits in one day hike in Winter?.. Good god what was I thinking?!!!) twice posting plans and not hearing from anyone. Until just a few weeks ago. Tompar replied to my email and we arranged to meet at 6:30AM at Lincoln Woods. He wanted to meet earlier and we compromised so that I could get some sleep before my early drive. I arrived a few minutes early and found him just getting up and about. He had slept nearby and had not slept well unfortunately. We didn't get on the trail until about 7:20AM. We had fresh snow to contend with but not a lot, perhaps 4 inches on the Lincoln Woods and Wilderness Trails. I broke trail a good portion of the way for most of the first leg of the hike, with Tom taking over once we got onto Bondcliff Trail. The temperature was pretty mild and while there were clouds and some fog, we could see blue sky and glimpses of the sun peeking through here and there. I was excited to hopefully be getting some of the most anticipated views in the Whites from what I'd seen and heard. I wanted this hike to be as special as possible.We made it up to Bondcliff in good time, I felt, but due to the late start Tom felt uncomfortable going further. I was definitely disappointed but talked myself into being okay with it. I told myself I would come out again the following weekend and hopefully have some friends along and make it more celebratory. Everything was pretty well socked in up on the ridge, also, so I thought maybe coming back to try again would give me a better chance for blue skies and incomparable views that I was hoping for. So, we turned around and headed back down. About 10 minutes after we started to descend below tree-line something odd happened. I could see someone coming up the trail towards us. I said Hi and he responded with "Are you Chris??" and somehow I knew I was going to be finishing the NH48 on this day with those words. I learned that Jim Frati had seen my post here on VFTT and was hoping to catch us in the parking lot but was about 45 minutes behind us. He was ready to head up and I wanted badly to finish, so I bade Tom a thank you for joining me and a warm goodbye and began my second ascent of Bondcliff on this day with Jim. Turns out he actually thought I was planning on only doing Bondcliff as well, but when he figured it out I think he just wanted to help me reach my goal, no matter how late we might be coming down. If I had known how late it would be I don?t think I would have continued on, though I am incredibly glad I did.
Back up on Bondcliff and still no views, though the wind seemed to be whipping up a tiny bit in comparison to the surprising stillness earlier. On we went to the summit of Bond itself and we started to see blue sky and peeks of the sun and color in the sky as well, as the clouds literally flew past us, and would suddenly reveal awesome views of snow-capped summits around us. I knew I was going to finish and I was going to get some of the views I'd been waiting for, and I couldn't believe it. I was thrilled and surprised and sad all at the same time. I was going to finish and Mother Nature was letting me glimpse all the beauty that the White Mountains hold and I was there experiencing it under very different circustances than I had expected or planned on when my quest for the NH48 began. Not everyone who I hoped would be there with me finishing this journey could be, and my sense of loss over that is still painful and hard to reconcile. I expressed my awe, sadness and raw emotion to Jim, then I apologized to him and wept openly. By this time my ankles were rubbed raw from inadequate winter boots and I had strained my left quad earlier on my first ascent of Bondcliff due to my packed-to-bursting and somewhat ill-fitting backpack, but wasn't feeling much of it yet. On we went to the spur trail to West Bond.
By the time we reached our last of the 3 summits the sun was beginning to set and though it was still mostly cloudy, there were breaks in the clouds and we had some brief distant views and beneath the clouds the sky was a vibrant orange-red. It was spectacular. On the way back down the spur trail, Jim started cruising way ahead of me. By this time I was really only limping along. Now that I had summitted my last 3 of the NH48 and so many miles breaking trail and struggling with inadequate equipment were past, I was starting to feel some of the damage I'd done. It was starting to get dark too and I began to get nervous about Jim getting so far ahead of me. I don't have a lot of confidence in myself when it comes to finding my way on the trail alone, and when darkness starts to fall it is only heightened for me, especially in winter. I've been lost and confused on the trail in the past, and I began to imagine that somehow I was on the wrong trail and had lost Jim. The mind plays tricks if you let it, and I can certainly do that with the best of them! A hike like this, or perhaps any hike for me, exposes fears, of which I have many. Fear of being alone, fear of the dark, fear of using my own wits and fending for myself. They are all there, and all I can say is that at least I am aware of them and I believe that hiking is as good an outlet for working on them as any. ( Hiking is life and life is hiking; that is what I have come to discover. ) I had a few panicky minutes before Jim slowed down enough for me to catch up with him, and on we went making our way back over Bond and Bondcliff and then below tree-line past all the blowdowns Tom and I had encountered on the way up that were at least cleared of snow by now.
Most of the descent of this hike was quite difficult for me and I was moving very slowly by now. I felt as if I was practically crawling due to the quad strain. It was very, very late by the time we got back to the Lincoln Woods Trail, and there were times when I wasn't sure I could keep walking. I think possibly I wouldn't have if it weren't for Jim, who was as supportive and amazing a hiking partner as anyone could possibly ask for. We talked and joked and I thought funny and amusing things in my head just to get through it and finish. I talked about and longed for the Diet Snapple in my trunk, giving myself a cold tasty motivation to keep walking and get back to my car. (When I got there, Jim had started and warmed up my car, and there was an ice-cold Snapple sitting in my front seat waiting for me .... The man is my hero
!!!) With about 3.5 miles left, hurting badly and knowing how late it was getting, the thought actually occurred to me that if someone had to come and get me with a litter to get me out of there that the 3 summits wouldn't count for the NH48, and, if I had gone almost 20 miles already, I could damn well do a few more!!! Those who are close to me have called me a fighter, a survivor, and determined (stubborn and obsessive have also come up !!) many times in the past, but I've never seen myself that way. After this particular hike, I think perhaps it is time I began to. I got back to my car, happy to have it warm, and happy to taste that diet Snapple, just before Midnight. It really was an amazing journey. I will never forget any of it.
