Waumbek Can Wait. November 11, 2010

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TrishandAlex

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White Mountains, NH
Copied from http://www.trishalexsage.com
Accompanying pictures and a short video can be found there.
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Once in a while, someone writes me and asks, "How do you get your kids to hike?" My answer? I don't. They hike because they want to. If they don't want to, then we don't go. Or, as was the case today, if they start out wanting to, and then they change their minds halfway up the mountain, we turn back. I don't believe in taking a kid up a mountain unless that kid really and truly wants to get up that mountain.

A few days ago, MadRiver invited the three of us on a 4K hike, and he asked us to choose something I thought Sage could handle. I chose Waumbek, one of the easier 4Ks. Sage was enthusiastic about hiking with MadRiver, and Alex didn't mind repeating the peak.

The morning arrived, and the girls were happy and rarin' to go. We started on the trail an hour ahead of MadRiver and his friend Mynetta, since I figured they would catch up to us in short order.

The trail was moderate and covered in a brown crunchy carpet of dead leaves and frozen mud.

The girls found the large cistern-well-thingy interesting...

...after examining it for a few minutes, we continued on our way.

And then, somewhere around the mile and a half mark, Sage's behavior began to rapidly deteriorate. As her countenance grew more and more sour by the second, my mind raced through all the possibilities. Hypothermia? Hardly, it was fairly warm out. Dehydration? Nope, she'd been chugging water constantly. Hungry? She'd been eating her way up the trail. Too much distance? Normally, no -- she did all of Jefferson, Jackson, and Tom happily and with zero complaint. Waumbek should be well within her capabilities.

I asked her several times what was wrong. She kept telling me she was fine, but she obviously wasn't. I asked if she wanted to turn back, but she said no. So we continued for a while...until she began huffing and sniffling and acting as though she basically hated life.

I quietly called Alex back a bit while Sage stomped dejectedly ahead. I told Alex that I was going to turn us around, and that Sage would probably be angry with me for doing so, but that something was obviously wrong and that it would be a mistake to continue.

We caught up to Sage and I told her to sit. She did so, and I explained that I thought it best if we turned back. Her reaction was, at first, furious. She cried frustrated tears and asked me why. She said that she wanted to keep going, that she didn't want to sit there. After allowing her to vent a while, I told her that I didn't think her body was up to it today. That I wanted her to think quietly for a minute and, after a few minutes of rest, if she really and truly wanted to continue, then we would. However, if she wanted to go back to the car, that was fine. Alex chimed in and told her it didn't matter if we got to the top, we could come back next week, next month, or next year. I told her that everyone turns around sometimes, it's no big deal. I also told her she was a strong kid who's already done so much, and that even the strongest of people sometimes just need to go home and rest. Sage contemplated all this for a minute, then said, in a very small voice, "I think I want to turn back."

I swooped her up and told her I was so proud of her, that she just became a Real Hiker. Real Hikers know when to turn back. Alex gave her a high-five, and the three of us turned and began to head down.

On the way, we crossed paths with MadRiver and Mynetta. Sage was embarrassed about turning back -- until MadRiver told her a story about how, last week, he turned back on the Tripyramids because he just didn't feel like continuing onward. That made Sage feel a lot better (thanks, MadRiver!).

The rest of our descent was cheerful. Sage found her smile again, and the girls made a humongous racket while they chased each other down the trail.

When we got back to the cistern-well-thingy, we had some un-summit chocolate.

I think this was a good day -- it's times like these when the real lessons are learned. Sage learned that there's no shame in turning around, even if everyone around you feels good to go. She learned that the summit is optional, and that a good time can be had even if we never reach the top. Alex once again proved herself to be a supportive and loving big sister. I learned how completely obvious it is when Sage really doesn't want to hike, even if she's loudly proclaiming that she wants to keep going. Had we continued today, she would've sniffled and stomped her way to Starr King (maybe) and I would have ended up carrying her out. Where's the fun in that?

If the hike ain't happy then the hike ain't happenin'. :)
 
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You are an amazing mom. Really--great post. I wish I had one like you with me on certain hikes! :)
 
Great post/report! I forget this sometimes, when I have in mind that I want to see a view, or just have a goal in mind....or when I carpool with a driver, and feel bad that I can't quite summit. The mountain will always be there, and sometimes it is more dangerous pushing on, just to make it to a silly summit. The trek really is more important than the destination. :)

Well done!
 
Seeker and grouseking, thanks.

There have been other times when we've turned around, but I haven't included those stories on my blogs. I was worried that the girls would be embarassed. However, after much thought, I think it's beneficial to write about the turn-backs. There are a fair number of parents and children (girls especially) who read my blogs, and it's probably not a bad idea to show that we certainly do not always make it to the top, and that there is zero shame in turning around. Healthy ambition is great, but your body has to be up for it, otherwise you're risking injury.
 
Great post! Knowing when to "say when" is important!!!

*(And you didn't end up carrying an unhappy hiker down the mountain!!!)
 
Wow...and this is how to help create a life-long hiker!!

We met MadRiver that day when we were heading down and he up. We hoped we would meet you (have read about you and your awesome kidos so many times) but, I think you were too much ahead of us...

Keep up the great work mommy!
 
Go Sage for knowing when to say when - and to you for following your gut - and to Alex for being a great sister!
 
Real Hikers know when to turn back.
Maybe I'm a super-Real hiker because I think I have turned back 3 times on 4k peaks this year, twice from not feeling up for it and once after falling in brook
 
I think that part of hiking is knowing when it is time to turn around.

Most of us have done this many many times.

Kudos to all of you for making the right decision. Hiking should not be a "death march" If it isn't right, sit down and eat chocolate. That makes it right again.

Sandy
 
Trish,
A good attempt is what counts in life. You can always give it another shot. Alex and Sage are growing up and learning fast.
Nice last line of your report. You should make it your "signature line."

Donna:)
 
Those kids have more common sense than most of the grown up's I know.

It's all about the journey not the check mark on a list. Well done!
 
Some days you're just not into it (at least I am). No point in hiking (or in my case trailwork) if it ain't fun.

Enjoyed reading your report. Thanks!
 
Not up to it.

Must be something about Waumbec. Many, many years ago some one asked me which was my hardest 4,000. I replied WAUMBEC.For some reason I just struggled and could not get going all the way up to Starr King, until the bushwhack. (It was a Bushwhack in those days from Starr King). Just had no Zip. Had to be the mountain:eek:
The next morning I felt fine and went back to hike Isolation and encountered no problems at all.Tell Sage that "YUP it must be the Mountain". It could not possibly be us".;)
 
Sharon and I turned around on Waumbek the first time as well. Same kind of situation, too. She just wasn't feeling it and wouldn't admit it. I knew something was wrong because she usually hikes faster than I do and this day she was trailing behind. I finally told her I was turning back and she agreed.
 
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