Fair enough. I certainly wouldn't call you reckless, and again, I was admittedly being hard on you, probably overly so. I would encourage you to give the Adirondacks a second chance.
In regard to the rangers waking you up, I would echo what others have said, they're incredibly understaffed and overworked. They're also not given the tools needed, e.g. a permit system.
Different people go to the mountains for different reasons. For me, I honestly can't imagine a scenario that would make me excited to get back to the Adirondacks. I don't mean to poop on anyone's home range. If the ADKs were in my backyard, I'd be there all the time. It's a beautiful area. But it's a long ways for me to drive, and unfortunately the trip did not leave me with a great feeling, and the way a place feels is important to me. It's surprising to me in retrospect that it wasn't the other hikers but the ADK volunteers and the rangers who made the experience less than ideal for me. When I think back on the trip, front and center in my head is the image of me sleeping in my tent with my family, and then getting woken up not by a bear or heavy rain or strong wind, but by a guy with a bright light and a gun right outside my tent. I recognize you and others believe the rangers are really great guys and are doing the best they can. I get that, but really great, well-meaning people sometimes make mistakes. Intruding in that way was a mistake, and if you don't think so, no worries, we can agree to disagree. Second, if the scenario I've described is not abnormal, I want no part of it. It's literally the opposite of what I'm looking for in a backcountry experience. The fact that your first inclination is to call me irresponsible for embarking on the trip, in spite of following all of the rules - look, I'm not offended, even though I don't agree with your sentiment. But I am convinced this isn't the place for me. And hey, arguably the rangers are doing their job of mitigating over-crowding, one way or another!
Funny thing is, when we met up with the other families 2 days later, my good friend who had invited me said, "All I kept thinking as the trip went on was, 'OMG, it's all the things that Brian hates!'" Like I said, different people go to the mountains for different reasons. But as you observed, I have in fact 'paid the price,' and doing so once was enough. I agree 'something is wrong,' but I think we don't agree on what that is or how to fix it. If it were my home range, I'd be pretty engaged in solving the problems I saw. But it's not, and there are plenty of interesting places to explore in the world. I'll leave you with one other anecdote though: two years ago I took the family to the Tetons. My boys were 7 and 9 at the time. I had made reservations 8 months prior to be able to hike the Teton Crest trail over a period of 5 days - arguably THE greatest bucket list backpack in the lower 48. Certainly one of the most popular. When we got to the backcountry office to check in and rent bear canisters, the ranger, noticing we were from MA and hiking with two young boys, asked a series of questions about our experience and expectations. After that she said, I think you guys are going to have a great time, here are your canisters, good luck! We saw one ranger the entire time we were in the back country. Yet the backcountry was incredibly well taken care of. We were expected to take care of ourselves, and we did. That feeling - self-reliance, responsibility, independence (within reason) - that's what I want. You don't need scenery like the Tetons to achieve that. If those things aren't important to you, then I can absolutely understand why your first inclination would be to tell me basically that I got what I deserved. Otherwise, I'd implore you to think about what problems exist in the ADKs and what the best ways to solve them are. Because the tactics I observed were doing little to diminish animal habituation, environmental degradation, or over-crowding.
