Which Mountain to die on (was: Just curious)

[Skyclimber]

I had the good fortune to be holding my sister's hand while she took her last breaths, warm in a bed at my parent's house. Had she had the strength, she would have preffered to go either on Bigelow Mt. or at Popham Beach. Sadly, the cancer had progressed to far to allow that. She had just turned 31. In the next few months I hope to be in the same room, holding my father's hand as he makes the same journey from the same culprit. He was born in that room. He would prefer to go on some nameless mountain in Maine, up a small abandoned logging road, but again, not in the cards.
I don't believe dying in the Mountains is romantic, I don't think of dying as romantic regardless of where or how. I see it as part of life...

My heart goes out to you. Your story is truly sad. I've witness life coming into this world, was there shortly before my mom passed away. Unfortunately she died in the ambulance before I got to the hospital. I don't know if I could handle seeing an actual death, especially if it was a loved one.

 

[pedxing]

I appreciate the sad, wise, and beautiful post by Chinook.

Having had cancer and being on a life-long watch for its return, and having had an another (accidental) brush with death, this transition feels real and tangible to me. I agree that there is nothing romantic about death, whether in the mountains or in one's own bed. But, it is one of life's most essential transitions and worth contmeplating. After all, we even mark the anniversaries of our birth and of our marriages. Surely our passage has deep meaning and we might want a way to mark it for ourselves.

For me, walking in the mountains has become a celebration of survival and life and of all that I have already survived. How ever long I live, it would be great to have one last time to celebrate the time I got. I agree, however, that there is a lot to be said for leaving life amidst those dearest to you and not creating any additional trauma or burden for anyone.

 

[SherpaKroto]

2. 24 beers weigh too much in a back pack...

Well, I guess you've never met Shizzmac420. He has carried a case of beer on more than a few backpacks. Hmmm, maybe that's why I enjoy hiking so much with him

For me, Kilington was way too close to hearing the final bell. I would never want to die on any mountain. Mountains are to be enjoyed, and my death would ruin that peak (well, maybe not ) for my friends. I have a friend who has never been able to return to Tuckeman's Ravine because a close friend of his died there.

So, if it HAS to be a mountain... Goose Eye for my 100th birthday party! Let my first peak be my last.

 

[dr_wu002]

I know a member of this site :cough :: Tom Hillwalker :: cough:: ) who actually carries a body bag, tagged and all, just in case he 'expires' on the trail. All you gotta do is tell the ranger on the way out.

Me, I don't wanna die hiking... especially not something horrible like falling down a cliff or a slide. I want to be eaten by Pete Hickey.

-Dr. Wu

 

[Stan]

Some have suggested that they want to live to be 100. You do realize that the last 10 or 15 years of that 100 you would be sucking tapioca through a straw in a nursing home while having your diapers changed. I will take a mountain any day.

That strikes me as a porly founded and thoughtless generality. My grandmother lived to be 100 and that hardly describes the quality of her life which she enjoyed at home ... her biggest complaint being that her friends had all passed away.

I have known other centenarians or near centenarians with like experiences. In fact, I'm connecting with a 90 year old man in Baxter Park this summer ... and he's led a prolific life teaching (Middlebury College), writing (several novels and WWII historical accounts) and capturing trout after a service connected disability incurred as commander of a PT boat in said WWII.

"May you live to be 100" is an old Polish toast and not without reason. There is joy to a long and active life. Those of us who subscribe to it go to the mountains for the pleasure, not to die.

 

[Rob S]

I had the good fortune to be holding my sister's hand while she took her last breaths, warm in a bed at my parent's house. Had she had the strength, she would have preffered to go either on Bigelow Mt. or at Popham Beach. Sadly, the cancer had progressed to far to allow that. She had just turned 31. In the next few months I hope to be in the same room, holding my father's hand as he makes the same journey from the same culprit. He was born in that room. He would prefer to go on some nameless mountain in Maine, up a small abandoned logging road, but again, not in the cards.
I don't believe dying in the Mountains is romantic, I don't think of dying as romantic regardless of where or how. I see it as part of life...

Our prayers are with you during the difficult time you face in the coming months.

It's hard for me to articulate all of the emotions I have when I think of death. My father died of cancer when I was only 4 years old, and I was too young to really understand. My Grandfather passed in 1986, but it was actually a relief to my family as he was only semi-conscious for the last week, and he had been deteriorating over a year. 2006 was a very bad year. Lost my Grandmother whom I was very close to. But at least she was 96, and lived a good, long, healthy life, and did not suffer. We were all with her in the ICU when she breathed her last. Also lost my wife's Mother, who was only 73 and did suffer, but only for a few days. We were with her too when she expired.

To get back on topic, prior to 2006 I probably would have answered this question without much thought. But JohnL's beautifully written post sums up how I would respond now. Life is short, and very fragile, ...... death is part of life and just as natural as being born. It may be an overused saying, even corny perhaps, but I've always liked "Live every day like it's your last".

 

[alpinista]

"May you live to be 100" is an old Polish toast and not without reason. There is joy to a long and active life. Those of us who subscribe to it go to the mountains for the pleasure, not to die.

Same thing in Italian! "Cento anni!"

 

[Brambor]

If it's time to go then I would love to die on Katahdin.

 

[dvbl]

There are two that I'd love to die on........oops, sorry, wrong bulletin board.

 

[Bob]

I'm Not Going To Die

so far, so good...

 

[MadRiver]

I have known other centenarians or near centenarians with like experiences. In fact, I'm connecting with a 90 year old man in Baxter Park this summer ... and he's led a prolific life teaching (Middlebury College), writing (several novels and WWII historical accounts) and capturing trout after a service connected disability incurred as commander of a PT boat in said WWII.

I too have known a number of vibrant 90+ year olds who lived a fruitful and productive life until the very end. Unfortunately, they were the exception and not the norm. I was with my mother when she died at 48 years of age in a cold, artificially lit hospital room surrounded by strangers, who were more concerned with going through the motions than acknowledging a once vital life had just been extinguished.

I have also worked security in various nursing homes while putting myself through college and have seen many patients sucking tapioca through a straw as they were schlepped from one room to another unaware of their surrounds or even that they were still alive.

As a veteran I have been on the upper floors of a VA hospital and witnessed unheard of living conditions and made a vow to myself that I would never ever allow myself or allow others to place me in hospital or VA to die just to fulfill some Schivoian delusion that I am still alive, when in reality the essence of my being, or soul, has already left my body.

In a perfect world, I would love to die sitting next to my river holding my wife’s hand. If that is not possible and my choice is a hospital or a mountain, the mountain wins!

 

[hikerfast]

Most people die in bed, so I sleep in a chair. I would prefer to die in my sleep and not know about it. I'd rather die at home I guess, but if I was going to go in the mountains, I guess I'd say South Twin, bout 4600 feet, with a bottle of scotch, and just go to sleep and not wake up again.

 

[sapblatt]

I am with Bob and MichaelJ on this one...

I don't want to go on the cart!!!

 

[chinooktrail]

' BRING OUT CHA DEAD!! '
I love Monty Python!

 

[gaiagirl]

My friend John, a nature writer and life-long advocate of wilderness and wilderness experiences (and the author of my quote), is 91. He is still writing as often as he can, but in the past few years the joy in his life has diminished. He can no longer manage jaunts out to the shore to watch terns, or climb anything much at all (though he hiked Khatadin regularly in his 70s) His eyesight has actually been failing him since he was in his 70s when he taught an Environmental Writing class at Dartmouth and had to stop doing so because his drive back and forth from the Cape became too much.

When I saw him in December, I certainly had the impression of a man who has had a remarkable life and done so much for the land and for others, but who feels he's ready for it to be over. It is hard for him to live with his physical limitations and it's harder still to watch his wife mentally deteriorate as she has. I tell him that he's still around because he has a lot more lessons to teach me and all the other educators, writers and lovers of life who he has touched throughout his life with his books and and his other projects. Now I just have to be an open and willing student and promise to pass it on.

 

[jrbren]

I can only say what mountain I do NOT want to die on, and that is what ever one I am climbing or descending...

 

[king tut]

Wow, i take back that "24 beers is too much weight to carry" comment. I just need to hike with these other people if they are willing to carry it for me. I am just hiking with the wrong people, i guess. If anyone is willing to hike with me and carry all my beer, send me a PM!

 

[bubba]

Interesting thread and some wonderful personal anecdotes from several. Thank you each.

My observations (really -- who asked??) (a) life is not fair (b) there's a notable generation gap on this thread - and isn't that what life is about...

From 1st hand experience - our attitiudes change with our health. I've learned that those who suffer terminal illness seek comfort, and often find that in familiar places (i.e. home, etc).

Early in my exposure to outdoor activities I recall a woman of her 80's hiking up the Tuckerman's trail in the spring. She was having a great time and didn't mind all of us passing her by. I made a mental note that, God willing, I could be in her frame of mind, spirit and physical capacity at her age and beyond. I've never forgot her.

As for me... outdoors somewhere would be my preference. Metsky may have it right - about to embark on a challange and not quite make it. In the mountatins but no necessarily on one. But, with hardening of the arteries, dementia and a general family history that includes a certain predisposition to damage to neurons in the brain, uhmmm, what I was thinking...

Oh, my wife has promised me... no, check that -- threatened... no, assured me (that's it) that I'll be in a nursing home drooling with a room number on my clothes and be very happy. I didn't know about the tapioca through a straw until above. I'll start packing it on a trail and it shall serve to remind me of my outings!!

 

[pedxing]

In Japan, about 80 people a year commit suicide by exposure in the forest at the base of Mount Fuji. Many of them simply wander without supplies or insulation and get deliberately lost.

 

[Stan]

... there's a notable generation gap on this thread - and isn't that what life is about...

I was thinking ... those of you in the upside of that gap ... may want to make arrangements at a nursing home convenient to trailheads in the Whites ... there's an "old age home" located right near the trailheads to Moosilauke and Tunnel Ponds. This discussion came up once before