Women and hiking

[pudgy_groundhog]

Carole, thanks for sharing. Even though you never felt in danger, that would creep me out. I'm glad you were able to shake him off with little incident.

 

[HIATIS]

My pet peeve

When Spencer and I were in the pursuit of completing our original 46 ADK peaks, we went to Climb High in VT to buy a piece of gear that I wanted. My family has been camping and hiking long before I was born and thus I did alot of camping and such as a youth. This piece of gear was something my father always used when we camped, Spencer and I were planning a long weekend and I wanted to bring it along. The item was nothing special, just a wind screen that attached to our camp stove that had a nice lip and helped balance your pot as well as block the wind. When we went into Climb High I went one way and Spencer went another in the store. Here is where the whole gender thing comes in. Some young man informed me that no such screen existed and that I had no idea what I was talking about. When I tried to explain that my dad owned one and I had used it before he totally dismissed me. Now on the other hand there was a store associate who was being more than helpful to my hubby. Which didn't do them any good because when I left-he left. For years I did not shop there- although when I needed a pair of crampons on short notice I did find a very reasonably priced pair. Oh and by the way I bought my windscreen through Campmor as well as the large flat bottomed frypan with fold-in handle that I wanted. It was the first time I'd ever run across the gender thing, and no I was not just being sensitive The young man made it quite clear what he thought of the fact that I am female.

I have not run into alot of issues over the years but it always amazes me how others will look to Spencer or inquire from him on whether I am capable of a particular hike. They'll even do it in front of me. I usually don't hike in groups. VFTT had a gathering in the winter and I wanted to stretch my legs so I made a plan to hike to a certain point with a group and then turn around and hike out on my own. I was up front before I even set out and it was a perfect trail with no adverse conditions. Still when I reached my turn around point I think it made a couple of the males uncomfortable. The women were fine with it.

Obviously my husband is a much more avid hiker than myself. I guess the word would be hard-core. Since I am not hard-core and I do know my limitations and honestly what he finds enjoyable is not so for me, there are plenty of times Spencer has hiked and camped with females. Both solo and in groups. I think the rule of thumb for someone who is married should simply be do what you would do if your spouse was sitting there. Also just be considerate of choosing who you hike with and if it will make your spouse uncomfortable. After all you do have to go home sometime I have had the opportunity to meet and open my home up on occasion to some wonderful women who are extremely strong hikers. All because they have the same passion for climbing as he does not because anyone was looking to hook up.

As for the "things" that can happen at camp. After someone has hiked all dat who has the energy to be prim and proper. It all basically breaks down to what will make me the most comfortable with the least amount of effort. Spencer, Brian and I were invited last winter to stay at a friend's camp with a group. The upper loft area was so warm all the men were just laying there on top of their bedding in their underwear. Mind you the lights were out and if you think I wore PJs you're nuts. I stripped down to bare essentials just like everyone else and no one said a word.

 

[Bob]

I think the rule of thumb for someone who is married should simply be do what you would do if your spouse was sitting there

Well I know of an incident where a married guy was sharing a tent with a hiker friend, and started pawing on her in the tent, making her feel extremely uncomfortable. A stunt someone in high school might try, he must have been overcompensating for something...

 

[sleeping bear]

Diva Cup used to offer a money-back guarantee but I believe they've discontinued that. Another company, the Keeper does still offer a 3-month (but not one day more) money-back return policy.

-vegematic

Yep, these are great.

 

[woodstrider]

The difference between...

wome hikers and their male conterparts ...


!) Women will ask for directions

 

[chinooktrail]

Hum, interesting thread.

Normally I don't like hiking solo. But if I am having some problems in my life, I enjoy the time alone to think things out. Not that I have had any problems lately!

I do think about the occasional axe murderer while solo, but the only difference is I hike a LOT faster than normal.

The first time I backpacked solo was up the Liberty Spring trail, I was getting my pack situated in the parking lot when two guys approached me and asked if i was hiking solo. I said no, I was waiting for friends.

They took off up the trail. I waited a bit and then started up. I passed them shortly after that and just said my friends would be passing by shortly. Never saw them on the rest of the trail.

Like I said, fear of the axe murderer is a great hiking motivator to beat booktime, like cut it in half.

Now that I have Geneva, the wonder puppy i will never have to hike solo again!

 

[woodstrider]

Crimes and Misunderstandings

As a women outdoors enthusist I also have had my share of "misunderstandings" when dealing with the male backpacker. There have been times when I've been hit on by a guys that I have met in a hiking club outing- On one memorable occassion I was in a diner with my boyfriend (sitting beside me) waiting for the group to gather and some guy showed up and really came on strong- finally I had to point out to the **** that the guy sitting next to me was actually with me, and that, no, I did not want to go backpacking with him. I heard later that he was banned form several clubs for sexually harrassing women. Not too smart, he directed his advances towards a women lawyer, and well....
Another time I met an officer of a certain club (that will remain nameless) in order to sign up for some volunteer work and this guy made a pass..in fact I felt that he used his position in this club as his own personal dating service in order to meet women. I made a complaint and then resigned my membership- I don't pay club fees to join a dating service- though I am sure some do do this very thing- why not, if it's what you want.
As for me, I found out alot about myself through hiking and over the years defined what I expected to get out of my outdoors experience. I found that I enjoy hiking and backpacking solo. I feel as safe alone as I do in a group, I am confident in my judgement and my abilities and enjoy my own company. What I don't enjoy is encountering other peoples baggage, though I also do hike with a few trusted friends. And trusted friends are as rare as hen's teeth.
As to my solo experiences, I have travelled all around this country and have felt perfectly safe. I trust myself and If I ever met some one that sets off my radar I will move on. I usually camp in stealthy places where I am not likely to be found.
At times I do miss having someone to turn to so that I can share some of my wonderful experiences with, but what can you do. If it is a question of going solo or not going, I am always for going!
There is a great deal of self-satisfaction and liberation in being able to go solo- no need to try to find someone who wants to go on the trip that you want to go on- no need to have to compromise your goals or needs. No need to be dependent on someone- or to have some depend on you.
This is not for everyone and I know that most, including men, will not even venture out alone where I have, which gives me even more satisfaction. Especially in light of the fact that when I first started hike, almost everyone that I met told me that I couldn't do what I was in fact doing. Reasons sighted were 1) I am a women- so my very sex was seen as an obsable 2) I lacked experience- a real catch 22 3) And backpacking was seen as a high risk sport.

Anyway- what I will advise you is this- don't let other peoples fear and ignorance deprive you of the experiences that you want. Life is about not always being safe and definitly about acquiring experiences. So determine what is within your comfort zone- while not setting those borders too firmly- and go for it!

 

[sierra]

This is a very interesting thread. Me, I am a single male who solo's alot. To be pefectly frank, Ive always wanted a hiker girlfriend. I have visions of long roadtrips, sleeping in Yosemite with " the one " and bagging big peaks all over the country. That being said, when I see woman hiking alone, I never have the desire to try and pick them up for the lack of a better term. I guess there's 2 factors involved there, one, Im assumeing a solo woman hiker already has her guard up and the whole being miles from a road seems to make any effort to woo them a little intimidating for the woman and I have no desire to put someone out in that fashion. On the other hand, any single woman who pass me on the trail, feel free to make a move, I have a long list of great peaks we can climb together, so much for the soloing carreer.

 

[NewHampshire]

wome hikers and their male conterparts ...


!) Women will ask for directions

Hey, last weekend on Killington while looking for a shortcut back to Cooper Lodge Steve asked a lift operator for directions......of course I did rib him for not being a "real" man .

(I also make it clear to those I hike or talk with that I am a married women and happy as such.)

And indeed, he is just as nice and fun as you are! It was nice to have you two play tour guide for us last year (and indeed we need to do it again some time soon!)


Brian

 

[Ed'n Lauky]

This is a good thread, Solitary - glad you started it.

I often hike with women, both attached and unattached, and about the only difference in our behaviors is that on bio-breaks we tend to give each other a bit more physical distance than if it's just guys. But, I've been in situations where that simply isn't possible, so turning my back discretely works too.

As an attached guy, I've shared many a bunk and motel room with both guys and gals, and no one has thought anything about it (I'm an attached, straight guy). But, I would like to comment specifically on one portion above, and my comments apply only to me, and may/not not apply to other guys: sharing a motel room to cut costs is one thing, but sharing a tent is another. Might be OK if it were a 3-person tent, but a 2-person is another story. But, I don't like to share a tent a guy either. Same thing applies to skinny dipping - we are human, after all. Unless you're looking for a sexual relationship, simply avoid the obvious temptations.

As for "seeing a bit more" - that wouldn't concern me so long as it's done in a functional rather than suggestive manner. After all, it's important that everyone attend to personal hygiene, not only for their own safety, but the safety of the group.

I think it would worth having a conversation about "acceptable" etiquette BEFORE a backpacking trip. Could avoid difficult/uncomfortable situations later.

Edit - and, no matter what guys may say, Billy Crystal got it right. Doesn't mean you act on it.

I have to say Kevin that I'm quite impressed. I think you have given some very good advice!

 

[Adk_dib]

I had a real weird thing happen to me one time. I was coming upon 2 woman and when they saw me the stopped and started kissing. I guess they wanted me to know that they were not interested in any man.

 

[cbcbd]

I had a real weird thing happen to me one time. I was coming upon 2 woman and when they saw me the stopped and started kissing. I guess they wanted me to know that they were not interested in any man.

This post is missing some pictures, Adk_...

 

[chomp]

I had a real weird thing happen to me one time. I was coming upon 2 woman and when they saw me the stopped and started kissing. I guess they wanted me to know that they were not interested in any man.

Did a cheesy soundtrack start playing at the same time? Because if it did, you TOTALLY mis-read that situation.

 

[Mats Roing]

I had a real weird thing happen to me one time. I was coming upon 2 woman and when they saw me the stopped and started kissing. I guess they wanted me to know that they were not interested in any man.

Jeeez dude....missed an open invitation or just didn't want to post what happened next?

 

[David Metsky]

<mod hat>
Um, folks, let's not turn this into a thread that demonstrates some of the issues we are discussing.
</mod hat>

 

[Kevin Rooney]

Thanks, Dave.

Maybe you would consider deleting the past few entries? This is one of the better threads in the past few years, and these entries do nothing to enhance it.

Kevin

 

[HikerAmiga]

Not sure about my female comrades as I don't believe I've ever discussed this with any of them, but while some of my male counterparts have been total gentlemen with me on the trail helping me up a steep trail or down a difficult section, others have not. I've appreciated both types of interactions for obvious reasons: for one, I am a lady, and secondly, I am fiercely independent.

I must admit though that it took some getting used to the lack of chivalry when I first started hiking seriously and hanging out with hard core hikers. In time I got to understand this new subculture and it became a pretty natural existence for me. I was particularly impressed, however, with a newer hiker buddy of mine that I noticed would watch out for me as well as for another male hiking buddy of ours while the three of us hiked together.

Anyone care to expand upon this topic?

 

[Solitary]

Can't we all just get along?

Anyone care to expand upon this topic?

Well I'm all for a world in which people are courteous to each other. I like it when we are kind to each other regardless of gender.

What I like about VFTT is that it is a community. I'd like to see this community on the trail, too, and frequently I find it. But not always. I'm reading a book by Jamling Tenzing Norgay right now in which he talks about how some of his party's crampons were stolen from base camp! I find that shocking especially when taking someone's equipment on an 8000 meter peak is putting their lives at risk. Or what happened to David Sharp on Everest in 2006.

So I try to live by the golden rule on and off the trail, but there are times when being "chivalrous" (did I spell that right?) is not simply about being nice but is about denying someone else's competence by putting them on pedestal. That I can do without.

 

[bikehikeskifish]

In other words, those who might be chivalrous* are damned if they do and damned if they don't?

Tim

* You spelled it right, Solitary. Note: Firefox has a spell-checker built into the textarea widget. You ARE using Firefox, aren't you?

 

[HikerAmiga]

...So I try to live by the golden rule on and off the trail, but there are times when being "chivalrous" (did I spell that right?) is not simply about being nice but is about denying someone else's competence by putting them on pedestal. That I can do without.

While I would tend to generally agree with this view, there are some occasions when it's best to be chivalrous! (Funny now) case in point: last summer while on a backpacking trip, my well-meaning male partner was instructing me on how to light his stove. I was starving and very anxious to have a hot meal! However, try as I might I couldn't get the stove lit and after a long, long while struggling with it, I began to wonder if he'd ever offer to light it himself. Well my hopes were dashed when our eyes met, mine begging, and he replied, "I am showing you tough love". Huh?? God Almighty!! That's the last thing I wanted to hear and certainly the last thing I felt I deserved!! (Again, funny now...) I think a little chivalry could have ensured a more successful dinner experience and overall backpack, trust me...