Family 1st, hiking 2nd, lesson learned

[dr_wu002]

During her Presidency, she will be away from home for about 10 of the 12 months. After that she will be gone about 8 weeks each year, every year. BTW, her Mom is a past Supreme President, so she has lots of support. How's that for balance?

Looks like somebody's going to be doing a lot of hiking soon.

-Wu

 

[chinooktrail]

Just my take on all of this. I've been married for 11 years, the ONLY gifts I have ever asked for were to go camping for Christmas, and to hike and or camp out at least once a month. To no avail, one year we camped for christmas, but he hated every second of it, so what was the point? The short story is that I have been a devoted, loving, understanding and supportive wife for these 11 years, then when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, he packed up and moved out. The really sick thing is that I would take him back in a heartbeat. I put aside many things to take care of him, hiking being one of them. I went out with a girlfriend yesterday and we did Mount Jackson. It was great, and I felt like my old self for the first time in a long time. Then when I was writing it down at home, it didn't seem to have as much meaning. To all of you married and SO people out there, give them a big hug, (from me) try to be more understanding, communicate more often about what is important to you, *LISTEN* to what is important to them, and count your lucky stars that you have each other, and whatever you have is working. I am just a little jealous of you all right now...

 

[coldfeet]

My daughter was just accepted as an RA in Binghamton, saves her big $, now I feel more comfortable setting up family vacations, kids drove me crazy this week April - rafting/biking/camping Lehigh river..august Lake George (after the gathering December, dude ranch, next February I want to try that camping on st. John's in virgin islands...ok i'm trying now i just have to get the mrs. to sign on the dotted line1

 

[Pucknuts61]

Hi Chinooktrail,
Your post bothered me all night and probably a few other people too. I'm usually pretty good at putting my thoughts into words but I'm having a tough time with this one, maybe because your ex makes the rest of us that care look bad and I just want you to know that there are people out there that take the vow of "better or worse" serioulsy.
I think what happened was cowardly. Nothing more than a self centered person not being able to handle a difficult situation.
We have all faced adversity within our life....but you take the highs with the lows...the good with the bad. It's all part of partnering with another person. You're there to laugh with them during the good times and to cry together during the bad ones....but all of which is part of the support we give to each other and the "team" we create between 2 people.
When my wife was going through her surgeries for the big c, I was the last person she saw when they put her out and the first person she saw when she was in recovery. Nothing more than a simple gesture that I'm there for her and will always be there even if I didn't fully understand what she was going through.....and now we are back to the good times, thankfully.
While I'm not a person that likes to open my personal life on a web site, I wanted to share this with you so you know that there are some good and caring people out there (and this site continually shows me this).
Do not even consider taking him back, he's simply not worth it.
I guess everyone knows now how I keep the balance I was describing in my earlier posts and the fact that I really do hold up my part of the relationship, but it's not just to get out hiking, it's because we truly care about each other (I just have to keep reminding myself of that when I'm cleaning the toilet).
All the best to you, Chinooktrail and I really hope we have the opportunity to meet up at some point.
Bill (pucknuts61)

 

[chinooktrail]

Thanks Bill,
Yeah, it has been one heck of a year. He chose New Years Day to tell me it was over. I had ABSOLUTELY no idea. I am just trying to pick up the pieces, and I believe that hiking will be a lifesaver for me. I think I am going to start over fresh, Jackson being the first on the 'list'. I am thinking of heading up to Lonesome lake this weekend to do the Kinsmans, and posiably Cannon too. Depends on the weather and if I can get someone to look after my 14 year old husky, unfortunately her hiking days are over. She has been a faithful camping and hiking companion for so long, it is really hard to get my pack out and not grab hers too...
So, I guess I am at the polar opposit end of the original post, I should have stuck more with my own interests, and refused to quit my job to be a 'housewife'. Now I am an out of work 39 year old with no husband and not very many prospects to make a living. I am looking around for the doors that everyone tells me will open, and hiking will get my mind in the right shape to pursue whatever opportunities present themselves. You just never know what life is going to throw at you, or how much you can handle...

 

[afka_bob]

Should I be insulted that harryk hasn't hit on me?

It's the kid, isn't it?

 

[afka_bob]

It's the hair, then?

Fortunately, I'm not easily insulted

 

[Nadine]

I like to live by the motto "everything is good in moderation"
I hike some, work some, ski some, go to school some, spend time with my aging parents. there is a definite balance, and sometimes things get skewed in one direction. When that happens, I focus on ways to get things balanced again. It all works out in the end.

 

[coldfeet]

I'm tipping the balance today, kids drove me nuts this week on vaca, helping scouts today, daughters birthday and soccer tomorrow, not to many days left before "march 21", going out today to catskills in afternoon, will sleep at a lean to near blackhead, wake up early and hit the peak, drive home 175 miles, get to tournament by 3-4..first time i'm really going solo, wife is not happy, or leave at 4am hit the trail by 7.. now i'm thinking and that's when trouble starts, man i'm cooking in these polo pro's ready to leave! (now i'm paranoid) goodbye!

 

[coldfeet]

changed balance already, will leave today but sleep in the car, she's happy, i'm happy, is everybody happy?

 

[hikethe115]

Wow nelly...first off harryk WOULD NOT hit on anyone, just tryin to be
in someway/somehow a gentleman ..i think the ladies at this sight who have met me....might vouch for that aspect of me .....hk

I'll vouch for ya Harry...indeed a gentleman.

 

[Periwinkle]

Should I be insulted that harryk hasn't hit on me?

Harry hasn't hit on me either...maybe it's the chunk on diamonds on the left ring finger?

And yes, you ARE a gentleman, Harry!

Seriously only joking. The hubby has been very tolerant of my hiking, including going off on my own with the VFTT buddies and a few overnights with my hunky 20-something hiking buddy. I don't know that I would have been as understanding if he wanted to go off in the woods with some babe. But, I'm lucky like that. The hubby even basecamped Owl's Head with me. That's true love....

It took some doing tho -- I had to sit him down and explain how much this all meant to me. Somehow, hiking (and more specifically, peakbagging), can take on a greater meaning than your average hobby/interest. If it's like that for you, share that. Talk about it.

And if it's really not fun anymore, give it a rest. I'm in seriously hiking withdrawal at the moment -- three months off the trail -- but I'm surviving. I pushed to finish the 4's this past November to the point that I had a few not so great days on the trail. It's a good thing there's no crying in hiking (as I believe MadRiver's wife was once quoted as saying) or I would have sat down and had a good cry for myself on a few occassions. I had my reasons for pushing and don't regret finishing -- it fact, I'm damned proud of myself -- but if you don't need to, don't. Every hike should be an adventure. It's so much better if you can go out with an open mind, free to enjoy where you are.

 

[coldfeet]

Here we go again, gotta miss my 3/12 trip to Balsam and watch my daughter play soccer in Nassau collesium (home of NY Islanders), how often do they get to play there?

I Think I became a little selfish, but winter ends on 3/20 and i NEED that peak! Did I ever tell you how i got started in hiking? It began in dec 2003 when Backpacker did a slide show in the Northface store in NYC the exact night i was buying a jacket. I fell in love with the views of the mountains and off i went.

 

[McRat]

Had a conversation with my uncle last week about the strain of falling in love with the woods and rocks and hills - and keeping the family obligations balanced.

I think he had a great answer. In a very childish way, I don't LIKE what he told me... but I know it is true.

"The mountains will still be there in 20 years but your family might not if they feel you love the mountains more."

I'm trying to work out a full day trip once a month, with little "maintenance" hikes around nearby woods. It keeps be sane.

I think I might even be able to up the average if I can turn the kids on to walking just for the fun of it.

 

[Pete_Hickey]

But for how long?

.... i NEED that peak! Did I ever tell you how i got started in hiking? It began in dec 2003 .....

Ahhhh. Not at it too long... It's infatuation, not love.

I'm wondering... so many people seem so adicted... If these adicted people have been at it for a long time (longer than 10-15 years), or is it a new thing.

McRat did have it right. The mountains are always there.

I had to give up hiking for a few years in the late 70's/early 80's due to various reasons, mostly having to do with the family. When I re-started, the mountains were still there.

 

[Neil]

Its infatuation...

I had to give up hiking for a few years in the late 70's/early 80's due to various reasons, mostly having to do with the family. When I re-started, the mountains were still there.

Ditto that. After a very extended layoff with maybe one trip a year and a change of venue I've been back at it for the past year or two and know enough to recognize my feelings of infatuation (not unlike an older guy falling in love with a sweet young thing) from love. I can't wait to go watch my youngest's hockey game this afternoon.

 

[Pete_Hickey]

I can't wait to go watch my youngest's hockey game this afternoon.

Yeah. the reason I'm not hiking this weekend, is that I'm playing guitar/singing in a bar, with my son. Kind of nifty, a father & son team up on stage.

At least I thnik that's the reason.... but the free beer may have something to do with it as well.

 

[coldfeet]

I do enjoy watching and helping my children in their activities. But the spring and summer activities are now being played indoors in the fall and winter and it's almost every weekend. It's not fair!

 

[Umsaskis]

Well, I have a question regarding the family thing. Most of the comments about reducing hiking when kids come along are likely posted by men. However, when a kid is born, if the avid hiker is the mom, it seems like it would be a lot harder for her. Truth be told, it is usually the moms who do the bulk of caring for the kids, although dad will often take them for an afternoon so mom can go off with her girlfriends to have coffee. But really, how often can a mother of young children get out and really go hiking? Ever? Especially when they are still needing to be fed all the time, or when they are in the crazy toddler stage? Particularly in winter. Mom can't even take a young child outdoors in a baby backpack for an exercise walk in January while dad's away at work, no matter how much you bundle them up.

I'd be interested to hear from any moms out there who've done it!

 

[sli74]

Thanks for that info, Tramper . . . I will have to look into that climbing exhibit as I am "borrowing" a friend's kid for a weekend and showing her around Boston, she is 8 years old and I am excited to take her to some of the museums and if it involves climbing, all the better.

sli74